I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday

Hi peeps! It has been a long time I haven't post anything. How's life? I know you won't answer me, because my readers seldom comment ( if I have readers ).

Cool thing about today was that I went to church. I talked to my teachers in Sunday school. And yea. Just to sum up that I've learnt to act more than talk more. (Act as in have action, not acting dramas ).

Sometimes I just feel like the world abandon me. It is a weird feeling. I feel unhappy. It's like you do things that can't connect to the world. Sometimes I just wanna get out of this stupid situation. But I know I can't. Moreover, I kept hearing insults from people around me. The thing turns worst when I remember what the criticisms are. I feel miserable especially when I'm playing the piano. ( it's like playing piano makes me rethink about things)

FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE CONSIDERED OF GREAT VALUE BY PEOPLE ARE WORTH NOTHING IN GOD'S SIGHT. ( Luke 16:15 I)

Just ended my English tuition. I feel hopeful. It's like HOPEFUL. I can't deny that my English is bad ( if you feel annoyed of the complaints that I have made about my bad English, just skip this paragraph. Nothing is impossible ). During the lesson, we had this session which my teacher asked us about what are the things that we want but we don't have to hake our lives better. I wrote BETTER ENGLISH. 

I always feel like what I have wrote in this - 想脱离恐惧，但彷徨无助，卷起身子，保护自己，最后发现，还是，恐惧。

Translation: Readers, google it yourselves. My English is too bad to do this!

I just wanna be away from FEAR. I'm fear to be fear. 

But this is what the bible tells me: 

YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE WITH ME, AND EVERYTHING I HAVE IS YOURS.

( Luke 15:31 )

So, we are always with God.

Tomorrow is always stronger than yesterday. 

Today is always the strongest day that I've lived. 

For god is always with us. 

Elisa Jean X O

13.7.2014

Sunday

An Old Story

This is my very own old story. I hope you would like it ( sorry for the bad and super hard to be understood English ).

My very own story is about how I wanted to be thin so badly and about I tried hard to be thin and then I came to a very own conclusion.

Standard 6
The story began when I was 12 years old. Obviously, that year I was having UPSR. That year I always went swimming with my family. We swam at Bukit Jalil Club. There was once I jumped into the swimming pool and made a terrible big splash of water. I accidentally splashed a little girl ( who was in the swimming pool, I hope to say sorry to her ). I wanted to say sorry. But then, she said that I'm a fat granny ( FEI PO ). I was so furious and sad about what I'd done. I had never been called fat. ( That time I was only a 12 years old girl, and I weighed like 44kg with my height 15_ something. If you are a person who want to have a very thin body, you must be feeling that I was super fat.

Form 1
That incident was no longer be what I'd been furious about, but it was thing that had sliced my heart. So, when I was Form 1, I was said to be the ugliest person in my class. I was low in self confident and I couldn't bear with it. I thought that I was the stupidest and ugliest person in the whole. No one liked me. Plus, I didn't speak fluent English and thus I felt so sad. And down.

Form 2
I was in a super smart class. My classmates were smart. They scored very well, which made me wanted to change myself. I told myself I had to be more hardworking. People are smart, but I'm not. There isn't any As I would get if I was still lazy. And I started to be like a super quiet person in class ( in anywhere ) because I was scared that what I would be hated by the others. I wanted to be the shiniest star in everywhere. So, what I could do was that I ate like 3 palms ( handful ) of food everyday. Sometimes I could even count how many bites of food I had eaten. I weighed 43 kg and had height of 160 cm.

Form 3
I never think that I was thin enough. I wanted more attention from others. I wanted people to say that I was pretty and thin ( plus smart ). I wanted what people's praising. I continued to eat as little as I could. I didn't eat junk food ( seldom, even was, I only ate like 2 pieces of chips). I did research on how to lose weight. I checked on internet and knew that I shouldn't drink sweet drinks. I only drink water. And I always told my friends that I was fat. I was fat. I was fat. But they said no. I had this kind of feeling that I was so happy because people told me that I was thin. But I never satisfied with my weight.  I went jogging like every week ( I had never jog before this!) so as to lose my weight. There was once my grannies came and visited my family. All of us were having dinner. And both my grannies sort of telling my parents to give me more to eat. I felt so happy because even my grannies thought that I was thin! That time I weighted 40 kg and had height of 160 cm ( I never become tall after so many years! ).

Form 4
Form 4 life was stressful. I decided to join athlete but because my friends told me that it would be tiring and affect my studies, I stopped thinking about that. In the other way, I joined Nature Club, KRS and etc. Because of I was still eating at less as possible, I got my sister attention. ( I could even check the calories of every food that I was going to eat so as to consume the least ). So, she told me that if I continued to be like that, I would end up with super weak body. ( I thought about death ) She told me that I couldn't be like that. I should start eating more so that my body could work normally. I started to realised that LIFE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT BEING THIN. I read many magazines and saw the models were not very thin. I started to think about why nowadays models were so not very thin? What was going on in the world?

One very important thing is that when I was Form 4, I started to stay close with God. I read Bible started to appreciate about what I have had. God created everyone with his own aim. God has a very own special plan on each of everyone and YOU! God even knows how many hairs you have! He loves us so much. Though sometimes I feel like I am not the sparking attention in everyone eyes, I still tell myself that I'm one of the sparking attention from my God. God has planned everything. I got over with the being thin part. God made a not very tough but tough ( to me ) journey for me. What is wrong with body weight?

Here is my English understanding diagram about the vocabulary ( body weight )

So, if you are at the boney ( is there such word? Sorry for poor english again), 

you should consume more calories so as to upgrade to skinny.

If you are at the skinny, make sure to consume more calories to thin! 

Because all the models are at the thin state, so if you don't want to be a model, 

just stay or a little bit more than thin! 

I really encourage people to do more exercise for own good.

My post come to an end. 

If you are one who are seeking to be thin, but you are out of thin already ( meaning that you are now at boney or skinny state ), you can consider my words.

If you still have problems, I advise you to consult a doctor. Plus, tell me about it so that I can pray for you. 

After all I am just a person who has gone through this. I'm not a doctor. 

Remember God is always with you, your life is going to shine as bright as possible as God is there with you.

Glory to the Lord. 

Elisa Jean X O

7.7.2014

8:33 p.m

Monday

Current Favourites

Hi peeps!

I'm gonna share about my favorites a of these two months. (Sorry for my bad English)

#1
All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran

The melody of it and the song have bought the content of the story! So yea! I wanna be a Chinese and English pro. Because I wanna write lyrics for songs ( in the future ).  But it's like Elisa learn swimming - can't swim at all! Anyway, with God, everything is possible. There will be a time when I'm pro! Because God is always with me!

#2

Chinese Book 

I really love this book. I came across it when I was reading the newspaper. Then I bought it today!
It's a book which the Chinese pros have written and they took them to a competition. And the passages that were won were published in this book. I kind of like it because there are many flowery words in those passages!

So yea!

You may ask, it that all? I will say yes!

Take care people. I'll blog tomorrow ( maybe, depends )

Elisa Jean X O

Saturday

5.7.14

7:00 pm

Triangle

Hi guys! I just came back from my church. I went there and learnt about God's words. Today probably we were talking about- Which place is our own place. So, we discussed some of the things. I thought about some things too. Like, one day I'll not be here writing blog post, because I'll have to go somewhere. Somewhere where I belong to. Well, that'll be a long story. 

Cool things about today is that there isn't any cool things. To be honest, I think I'm such a very irresponsible person in many ways. I wish that everything would just done by itself. Then, I needn't to worry about anything or put in effort. That's how I wish. But then, there isn't such COOL thing is the world, because I gotta work. 

 Let's talk about something very interesting- My school Sports Day. It was on the past Friday morning. I marched for my Blue house and ran 100 X 4 with my running mates. For the relay, we got 3rd because there were only 4 teams competiting. We were so happy about it because at least we won something. For the marching, we got the first place. At first I didn't expect that we would win because we did something wrong. However, we still won it. How amazing God is! ( Just hope that the first place is a real first place ) 

Next week ( this coming week ) is my monthly test week. I'm stressed out. I haven't stduied what I'm supposed to study. I feel really stressed out. Ok, you may not see me studying due to the fact of stressing out but you'll see me begging my parents to let me go for jog. I love jogging. I jogged 9 rounds in the park today morning. It was pretty tiring. To conlude this jogging thing- I'm lack of stamina. 

Lately I've been talking to my school friends. I just found out that they are so amazing. Though sometimes I feel like they are doing something not really good ( as in always go outing ). Through talking to them, I just realised that everyone has his/ her own life story. This is how amazing people who made by God can be! 

You might wonder about the title that I named for this post. I actually obssess with TRIANGLE. A triangle is the best shape ever. T from the TRIANGLE also represents TIRED. Basically I want to tell you that I'm tired. 

This post should end here. I gotta pratise my guitar now! 

HAPPY TRIANGLE SUNDAY! 

( In case you don't know, to me everyday is a triangle day )

* If you feel like wanna comment something, just comment! * 

* Because I love to read people's comments! * 

Elisa Jean 

29.06.14 

1.32 p.m

Days before Sports Day

Hi peeps!

I'm so tired today because of what I did. I went marching this afternoon and then continued helping out the decoration team of my BLUE HOUSE.

Basically I'm a dull and unsociable person in school. I didn't talk much there. I feel like I should be more sociable. Is this called peer pressure? WOTS. I won't let this thing happen on me because the quote of mine is: Influence the world, do not let the world influence me. So, that's what I mean. Well, I don't mean that I'll continue to be like a stupid ( a mute person ), I'll try my very best to talk to people so that I can influence people. ( I know you might start thinking that I have such an unreal dream, but that is why I always try hard to do something that against my mind. )

I'm sort of tired about the decoration things for my BLUE HOUSE, because it is so tiring and there are a lot work to be done ( Though I'm not part of the deco team ). There is a scary thing that I experienced yesterday night. I heard someone kept inhaling the air ( like the person was suffocating ). I thought it was my sister who was suffering from the dreadful flu. But then, my sister was crying. And I was like, why on earth you want to disturb my sleep?

There are so many things we need to learn. But there is no way to learn finish? Is that true?

I haven't studied anything yet and next week I'm gonna sit for monthly test. I have to spend more time studying and do exercises. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BE HARD WORKING!

God is always here with me.

Weekly blogging ends here.
Thanks for reading my weekly post.

Elisa Jean.
25.6.2014
7:52 p.m.

Typical Sunday

I just came back from my church. I had my lunch and it was great. I know that doesn't sound like it was a great lunch, because it wasn't that great, but it was still great.

Now I'm listening to a song - ALL OF ME. It is a song which lyrics is about a guy loves a girl very much. I won't write about how I feel about the song, because it will be super duper boring. Anyway, back to what I did in church just now. There, all of us watched a movie called FACING THE GIANT. I'm actually thought about how stupid I was, no I'm. Because I always feel like everything will be a negative result. Basically the movie is about how a group of high school students kept winning with the strength and the believe in God. Well, I believe that God has His very own way. 

Let's talk about investment. Okay, I'm mad about investment. I just don't know why I love INVESTMENT, this word so much. Despite doing investment with money, I prefer doing investment with my time. Time is the only thing I have, isn't it? So, recently I've been looking around like a paparazzi, to see and capture how people at my age invest their time. Obviously my targets are my classmates. Well, not much to say about what they always do with their time, they use it almost for studying, talking about life ( coupling? Marriage? LOL ) and etc. 

In my opinion, investment should be done at a right time. I agree that everyone can have their own lovely piece of story which is about going out with someone they love very much. However, time will be the only limiting factor. Because, this investment should be done at a very right time! Got it? 

Now, I've things to do. I feel really lazy to do my homework, because they are not as interesting as my textbooks. Besides studying, I have something more tiring - church things. I'm like don't know what to do but still have to do. I'm like I want to do, but I keep doing the wrong things. I just want to get over it - LET IT GO! 

Well, school things are not that tiring but tiring. I've got marching practice tomorrow. Besides school things,I gotta practise my guitar and piano. So, my guitar is like a kindergarten kid doing their maths. My piano is like a standard 3 kid doing standard 4 maths. I hope you got it. Because there is no way to describe it anymore. 

Oh yeah! One more thing, I just got back my Postal Bible Knowledge Quiz Result. I was super happy about it because I got a result which satisfied my target. Glory to The Lord. 

Like the movie - FACING THE GIANT, I would just say that God can do everything. So, just let Him do. 

Glory to The Lord. 

" The counsel of The Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations. " 

Psalm 33:11

Elisa Jean X

1:50 p.m

New URL makes me feel fresh and new. I'll continue to blog about things!

Today

Hi readers. I just wanna to apologize about my bad English. I've been trying hard, but there is a lot more to learn.

Well, thing about today is that I received all my test papers. Guess what? I feel like making my parents and myselft upset. All ten subjects don't really meet my target. Or I aim too high?

I really feel bad about my school too - to have such a student like me. I feel bad about God to have such a daughter like me. Well, let me adjust my mind. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, AFTER ALL! 

People around me are like changing or developing ( which word is best for this situation? ). I agree that people can change to what they want to be and they have their own choice. Sometimes, I just can't really think logically about their changes. It is so illogical! 

So, recently I find myself being logic sometimes ( I mean I don't have common sense and my IQ and EQ are low ). Like last week, I helped Emily ( my sister ) to think about a proposal about buying something. If you guys don't know what that something, just check out her blog ( plus, read her English too! You'll know why Elisa's EQ and IQ are low ). My task is to persuade both my parents to buy that for her. I was like - what? My parents never listen to me and you want me persuade them? Yea. I was kind of wanted to do but I won't succeed. 

Owh yea. I really feel guilty and uneasy about what I've done. I told a lie. I felt really sad, though I'm not really sad. Well, God is here and he listened to what I said. Well, gonna say sorry to that person.

Well, life is still go on. Currently, I'm reading Levititives. It's hard and not very interesting. I'll still go on reading it! 

Bye. 

19.06.14 

Thursday

Elisa Jean

5:03 p.m

June busy life.

Hi guys! I'm so tired today, but I want to write my blog post so badly. I want to tell you things that are important. Really important. The thing is about white and black.

I had my first blue house marching practice today. It was great and easy. I did some steps wrongly but others I got them right. The problem of mine is that I have to switch right to left. That is so bad. But it is OK with me, because I feel more comfortable with left. ( If you get what my this paragraph means. )

I'm sitting my history exam on this coming Saturday. To be honest, I love history, because studying history, I needn't do practices that are hard. Just like reading story book. I love reading story books.

Back to marching, I felt like I was a dull and dump there. I always feel like I can't mix with people. Well, all I think it is because I don't have the same thinking as theirs. So, I tried hard to talk to them or laugh around. Actually I don't think it is a big deal that I don't mix with people. Because everyone has his own thinking.

I feel like the people in the world only like people who are pretty and have good body shape ( For MALE? ).  There are people who only like people who are good looking ( For FEMALE? ).

Is that true?

 'For The Lord your God shows no partiality and accepts no bribes' - Deuteronomy 10: 17d

People, just stay close to God. You'll be a good man. You'll be a good woman. You'll be a good kid.

18.06.2014
Wednesday
Elisa Jean.
7:57 p.m.

Act or Wait?

I can't believe that today is the end of the holiday. I'm now here, writing my blog post. It is a norm that I always have my nap before dinner. So, you can guess, I just woke up from my nap.

Today is a Sunday. I went to the church in the morning, and went for the afternoon lunch ( sort of in a ball room, but not that formal one ) with my church people. I simply wore a tee- shirt and a skirt. I complained the skirt was too short because it was really short. So, I won't buy something like that any more. Never.

For the hot weather, I sweated throughout the whole session ( Sunday School ) in church. After all, it was just a period of time that I got my body water out and got new water in. That's all.

I finished the Deuteronomy which I found it was quite interesting. Because it stated people who sin should be stone to death or sentence to death. The whole book was about olden days' laws. I could see how people in the past they lived. They lived in a condition where only God was their God and they had to obey their only God's rules. If not, they would die. Because of not being loyalty to their Lord.

Much of the laws were about how people sinned through their actions, like adultery and murdering. Today I am thinking how people nowadays sin through their thinking ( Exp: Looking lustfully at a beautiful girl / A beautiful girl smiles lustfully at a guy ). So, then I kept thinking how I have sinned. Then, I felt so bad.

It is cool for people to think and think about things that are hard to be thought. However, it is really hard to actually act it out. Like, I want to be a super duper good pianist. So, I think that I should practise 2 hours a day so that it is enough and I will get used to one music piece and able to express the whole song. However, there is no action, the 2 hours end up being used for taking a nap before dinner. You, see the importance of action? Therefore, I tell myself to be still and determined in the way that I can discipline myself and use my time with the actions that have in my mind but not yet in my body.

For the whole year, I have been in a lonely mood. The day before yesterday, I closed myself in my room and listened to two songs - MR. LONELY by Bobby Vilton and THE LONELY by Christina Perri. The melodies were sad and the lyrics were as lonely as they were. Back to me, I stopped the whole extra activities in school because I just want have a peaceful days in 2014. And then I felt so happy about the my decision. Thanks God for that.

Ok, I know I'm very random because I always fail to write or speak something in a sequence. So, I wish you understand what I meant.

Thanks for reading my blog.
You know, God is still loving me ( see I'm now free from what I don't like, at least ) and he loves you!

Elisa Jean
7:20 p.m
15 June 2014

Different.

Lately I've been lazy. I feel lazy doing things, for example, studying history because I'm having test after the holidays end, playing guitar and etc. All that I can conclude I have used almost the half of the day watching TV. The dramas were really great. The feeling of watching dramas is like reading good books, I can't help watching till the end of the whole dramas.

Cool thing about today is that Emily went for church choir. I've never thought that she wanted to sing for the choir. Neither do I. To be honest, I don't like singing. I never like singing. The moment you want me to sing I'll sing for you, but I think you won't gonna use your ears to listen what I'm singing. My vocal is really weird. So, I think Emily is brave that she dares to go for it. I think she starts liking vocal? Haha. That's great, because having passion for one music instrument is really a cool thing.

Yesterday we went to shopping in Paradigm Mall. I didn't like going there because I might be meeting my friends, which I would hide at a place so that they wouldn't see me. Back to the shopping session, first we went to UNIQLO and my mum bought some stuffs. And then dad and Emily managed to buy shoes. At last before we wet home, Emily bought a skirt.

I don't know what people at my age do for their lives. I do things that are stupid and crazy. Like yesterday I went jogging with my dad and Emily, then we ran 2.7 km. That was an improvement of mine because my stamina is low. But then I still managed to run.

I just came back from the church. I met my church friends and had Sunday School ( sort of ). I enjoyed learning things about life because we have to learn how to live a real LIFE, a MEANINGFUL life. For the aim of one life have to be the correct aim so that one's life can be meaningful. That's what I got for Sunday School ( sort of ) today. And through your life, you'll learn how to go through ups and downs. Only then, becomes a strong man. COOL?

Anyway, now I'm gonna end my post. Next week I'll be writing something cool. Haha. I wonder how cool it will be.

Thanks for reading.
8.6.14
1:51 p.m

The Inside and Outside

I've always wanted to blog about something that I've learnt.

INSIDE & OUTSIDE
It's easy to blog about things. I love writing but I don't write good. I'm sort of fed up about people telling me that my English is such a shame of mine. I admit that I don't have a good English, and I can't speak English.

OUTSIDE
Last weekends I went for a church ' camp'. There were talks about how to sing correctly, how to be a good chairman in church service and the Christian year plus the importance of singing hymns. I feel thankful about all the talks because I learnt a lot. I learnt that playing musical instruments can be one of the way to glorify God's name. So, I really have to practise my guitar and piano hardly.

INSIDE
Well, the whole feeling of participating the camp is like ups and downs. I'm scared about people talking to me. Even though a HALO is dreadful enough. I feel like the lesser people talking to me, the better I feel. This is a  really serious problem. I can't bear with the fear, can I? So every time I just tell myself that it is okay to talk to people and there is nothing scary. It is because God is always with me. Thanks God.

OUTSIDE
I don't know how people look at me. Well, I think I look scary and dreadful. I don't look friendly, do I? Well, I don't care. I smile every time when people has got the eye contact with me. Haha.

INSIDE AND OUTSIDE
I closed facebook for 2 months. It was a great thing not having facebook but the messenger only. You don't get to know what your friends in facebook do. For the two months I feel like disconnected to the whole and that is a good feeling. Because nowadays people can't be disconnected to the world. The world needs them? Or they need the world?

OUTSIDE
I went to shopping last week but I didn't manage to buy the book that I want to buy. SAD. I always think that reading books is a pathway to the success. Obviously what I think is more important than reading books is that reading Bible and be a righteous man. Only then you can succeed. I went shopping and brought back mango's magazine. I flipped through them and amazed with the sight and the feeling that the models could present.

INSIDE
I've always been dreaming about being a fashion designer. This is because I feel like insecure when I don't have a pretty clothes on my body. This is really sad. And I always wanted to be a model. But my height tells me that I can't. However both these unreal dreams come to an end because I feel like I have to know about laws and the laws that God has set since the first day of the world. Due to the fact that I really want to be a lawyer or even a politician, I read about the deuteronomy. Well, I haven't finished so yea, still a lot more to  go. Despite the fact that I'm lack of understanding in laws, my English is not good too. And I always know that God will make this as a testimony of mine.

HARDWORKING TIME
It is hard to get your whole body up to work after a long rest. Basically I set today is the day to start the whole things up. I planned what to do for today. Well, now I feel like I'm writing this blog post with my shameless poor English. I'm gonna be hardworking. Let this point starts today.

GOD'S WORDS
God's words are what we really need to live by. Let's God be our God who care about all the things.

Thanks a lot for reading my blog post.
Elisa Jean.
4/6/2014
Wednesday
8:02 a.m

Discovering the life.

Hi guys. It has been a long time I didn't write blog post. I just do some quick review about the reasons of me stop writing for weeks. 

I stopped writing because I felt like I were writing things which were about my life, without connecting them with God. And those were my sins and stupid thoughts about myself. I was self centered. I was glorifying my own name, Elisa Jean.

I don't know if you are a Christian or no, but I know I'm a Christian who really needs to do what god wants me to do. I first started writing this blog was because I felt the love from God that time. I named it Joy and Love. And my URL is joyful-jean.blogspot.com. The whole purpose is to let people ( my readers) to know more about the all mighty god. However, lately, I've not been doing what my fist and only aim was. I was blogging about my luxurious life, my dreamful life, my future without God, money and etc.

I want to thank god about what he has done on me. I personally want to say this is the glory of god and his grace is always here with me. AMEN. 

I'll continue writing blog post so as to use use what god has given me to strengthen myself and a good person and glorify his name. Only his name.

Thank you.

Love you guys.

Close

Hi there. Today is a Sunday. I'm not very happy as tomorrow is Monday. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to school and do tons of homework that I'll never finish.

I'm writing this topic CLOSE, because I feel like I wanna close this blog.

You may be asking why am I so random?

I'll tell you the reason personally if you come and ask me.

Thanks for paying much attention on my blog. I'm so happy to have friends, family and people who I don't even know, reading my blog, having the curiosity on my life.

All I want to tell each of us is that God is love. Today is Easter Day. Nearly 2000 years ago, Jesus died on the cross for you and I ( all of us ). The grace of God shows the great great love of Him. I really wanna let you know Christ is your only way. He gives you strength and faith that your life can't live without him. You are loved, people!

I've wrote hundreds of blog posts on this blog since my first year of high school. And now I'm in my last year of high school. So, the first momentum of writing the first blog post was that time when I felt that being a Christian was a happy and joyful thing. I should live a joyful life. Therefore, I named this blog, Joy and Love. And in between these years, obviously I've changed the title but the themes were all around JOY AND LOVE. I named this website url joyful-jean. Jean is me and this Jean is joyful.

I really hope you understand what I message I really want to deliver to you. It is all about Joy and Love. Without God, you'll never ever find real love and real joy. There will never be peace in your heart.

Lastly, I really want you to know that God loves you. He can rescue you from a super bad situation.

GOD LOVES YOU

Thanks for reading my blog no matter when.
This is the last post.

With Love and Joy,
ALEGRIA Y AMOR,
Elisa Jean.

20.04.2014
Sunday
6:40 p.m

Alegría y Amor

AI've been in a really sad and serious state that I wanna give up what I passionate at. I have such a feeling that no one is encouraging me while my friend Yen Ling, listened to the stories of mine. I feel great after all and thank god for placing Yen Ling for playing a role as my friend.

I was depressed and made myself not to waste the precious time I have. I did what I was supposed to do. The week days went perfectly and I nearly finished all my homework. That's amazing because I never bother my homework. Study is more important that homework?

I don't really score well in my previous exam. I was very sad that my History got really really low marks. I rated it as FAIL. You see that's how bad I was or am. Chemistry was one of the worst too. Besides, the nation language ( Bahasa Melayu) has made me like a mad person. Writing an essay with thousands words makes me feel like I wanna vomit. My life now is full of studies and essays. 

After all, I thank god for giving me such a life. Today is Good Friday. Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago. Can you believe that, WE CAN'T LIVE A PERFECT LIFE LIKE WHAT JESUS DID BUT WE JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS LIKE WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME SHOULD HAVE DIED LIKE THAT WAY. After all, I won't say my life is not good. Because it is too good. Such a comfortable life.

Good Friday, I was having my dinner with all my family members presented. I'm so grateful about it. It's been quite a long time we didn't gather together. The scene of family members gather together will hardly to be seen after I graduated my high school. Thanks God for this year. 

Now, just wanna make an appreciation to my blog reader. I've designed a card and written something on it. And now, I wanna give out. Remember there is only one. So if you are interested, just make a comment on this post and I'll give it to you, if I meet you. This card is only given to reader who is able to meet me regularly and yea. So, write a comment. It's not vey nice but it's nice to give others something. 

Here is the card. 

Just a pice of paper. 

And here are something that I designed and only for my personal usage.

Say Something ( I'm giving up on you )

Hi there. It has been 6 days I didn't blog. Time flies quickly. But I'm still the little Elisa.

I feel like I need to give up on something.

Recently I've been doing some designs for something, but the arts I've produced didn't satisfy the client ( HAHA it's not a suitable word but I don't know what word is more suitable ). To be honest, I'm very sad with my design. I start to lose the creativity of art and being rigid in the world. I feel like I have no more passion in designing. I feel bad and really sad.

I love design things and drawing. Putting the images together and doodling something abstract have been something that I love to do. I first started drawing when I was 9 years old because my twin wanted to learn drawing. I'd never like drawing before that, because every time when there was a drawing competition, I'd loose. I'd never won any prize. Even though I've learnt drawing before, I'm never a good artist.

The moment being rejected by people... I feel really sad. I didn't cry or do any actions, but I know my heart is crying. Because I really love designing things.

Therefore, I start thinking is that my art is too abstract that no one will appreciate it? I guess so. I'm not saying or lifting myself up that I'm a very artistic person. I'm never one.

Till this moment, I feel like I want to give up on designing. Very soon, my ambitions, graphic designer and fashion designer, will be out of my TO- BE- LIST. I'm saying goodbye.

Maybe I'll never draw again. Or I'll.

Because now I feel useless drawing for people to appreciate. Sometimes people think that is just a piece of sh*t or a garbage.

I don't have determination. How can I continue my dream?

Say Something

The First Art.

I end my designing mind with this drawing. 

I'm saying goodbye, say something I'm giving up on you.

Elisa Jean 

15.04.2014

Tuesday

2.40 p.m.

Falling in Love

Think about this, every day you wake up and then start to plan your to do list of the day. And the first thing that comes to your mind is what you really love to do. For instance, you may think about go jogging with the person you love, do add maths or upgrade the level you are in the game. And everyday you have the feeling that I must do this thing and it is not a burden to you, nor a habit of yours, but it is something that you have passion in it.

I name this falling in love. True thing. If you fall in love with someone, you'll never want to end a conversation with him or her. It's also true that you won't stop thinking about the person. You'll never be enough with the time you have with that person because you will sacrifice your time to the person or even life.

OK. I've been too dramatic. Well, these few things are actually the sign of falling in love with someone. To me, I have this sign too. ( You may start thinking is that Elisa Jean has got a crush ) I seriously fall in love with music. I love music. ( CONFESSION ? )

Once my friend told me that she personally agreed the statement NO MUSIC NO LIFE. Sadly, I told her I DON'T LIKE MUSIC. Well, the statement no music no life is like really serious case. I think nobody can life without God, but people can still live without music. You know. However, the precious thing about music is that you can't write it on a paper. You know you can't see it or watch it or read it, because hear the music is the true meaning of music.

I thank God for the ears He has given to me. At this point, I'm thinking about what if one day, God takes away my ear? Or my hands? Can I continue my life without one of them? Seriously, can I? If I have no ears, I won't be able to appreciate the amazing music. If I have no hands, I won't be able to play music. No, I can't do anything relate to the music. NO MUSIC NO LIFE? Is that true?

One thing that is really important about what the Revent in my church said last Sunday was time shows how much you love someone. For example, you love someone. You'll definitely spend time with the person and help the person whenever he/she needs you. You'll not think twice or think once, and just do whatever you can do for the person. This is the action of love, I suppose.

Amazing love. Love is amazing. No one can deny it because it is a fact. To me, passion is one of the sign of love. If you have passion on something, you may be falling in love with that thing. Because you start to have the desire ( lust? haha. The word is toooooo serious, man) to do that thing. In my view, don't ever do something that are not good for yourself, because it will hurt yourself and others.

I find out that I just have the passion on music which is very bad. The books are the burdens of mine. Well, I'll tell myself to love them. LOVE.

Lastly, the message of this post is that I want you to know that God actually spends time on you and takes care of you. He loves you in this way. Maybe you don't have any feeling, but think that you are here on the earth amazingly being raised up by your parents or whoever, and you get the chance to read my blog because you have eyes and you know how to surf the net and type the words out. It's His grace. So, what we can react to this love is that spend more time with God in the way of reading Bible, praying and sharing his good news.

Thanks God for everything, and thanks for reading my blog post.

Elisa Jean.
9.4.14
WED
2:50 p.m

New

Hi there! I'm here blogging again. I don't like the feeling of blogging because I blog when I'm lazy. I'm lazy to do the works that I'm supposed to do. Anyway, now I feel extraordinary new.

NEW? What's it about?

Let me tell you. My guitar went hospital again. Still, there was a string snapped while I was having my guitar lesson. Imagine, something loud suddenly was being heard and you found out the thing was just in front of your heart. That's what my guitar the memory of my guitar gave to me. Anyway, the guitar strings were fixed with new strings. ( For your information, I got all the strings changed because my teacher suggested me to do so, plus, I don't want any of them snaps again.)  The strings are new now. And my guitar is now beside me!

COOL? I feel new. Besides, I bought a pants and  a top yesterday. You know, since I'm putting on my weight, my old clothes can't fit in with my body. Oh dear. This makes me feel like I should get a normal routine- exercise more!

Well, my life now is full of fun. You know, studying, reading lots of books that I wanna read, playing musical instruments, eating and also jogging.

I feel like my life is so good.

Apart from that, I also learnt many things from the Bible. Like what my friend, Tze- Ning said, we should have the thirst towards God's words. I should have that.

Here are some my photos, slowly being released...

Felicity!

Ignore my weird face. 

Thanks for reading my blog. 

Elisa Jean 

6.4.14

8:20 a.m

Rest

I deleted my twitter account yesterday. I felt relief and peaceful in mind. I did that because the internet has set me in a bad condition. Or you can also say that I chose to online and all that. Well, I admit that.

It's a really hard thing for one to stop their desire. 

Believe me. 

The moment you stop letting your desire to control you, you are gonna be successful in life.

What's success?

Hmm...

Let me have a rest with the internet, when I'm successful, I'll tell you what is success.

You may have an answer in your heart or may not, but I know that since you have been reading my blog post, you are now curious with my answer.

I'll like you to wait for me to be successful. 

Well, I don't really know the meaning of success.

The sun always rises on the same side of the sky, human's days can be different everyday. 

LIFE IS FULL OF COULOURS, BUT NOW FULL OF INTERNET.

Let me rest.

Thanks for reading.

Elisa Jean 

3.4.2014

Thursday

3:50p.m

Cupboard

Hi there. Today I don't feel old. Well, I'm still gonna share about what is in my mind (what I've learnt ).

To be honest, I've never liked going to school. For me, school is a place where I need to face teachers, classmates and lots of knowledge problem. This shows that I really need to improve my social skill and my learning skill.

Well, since I have been in Malaysia public school for 6+5= 11 years, and this year is my last year, I look forward to have a new learning skill. If you don't know what I mean, I'm gonna tell you that I actually start learning things from my surrounding. Like when people smile at you, you smile back. And that's a kind of art? Yea, I guess so. So despite learning things from books, I've decided to learn from things not from books. (My English is bad, so just ignore whatever you don't understand) 

I stayed back yesterday to do Biology model with the rubbish family. Well, we got it done at 3:00 p.m. I'm happy to have group mates like them. Well, I also encountered something. Something that's related to the cupboard. I ain't writing it down, but I'll let my encouter stay in my head and remember it. Thanks god for the encounter, I learnt that human should always obey god's rules. This is the point.

SPM. The worst thing ever? No. Socializing is worse. Well, SPM doesn't scare me last year, but this year. I pretty afraid that the day I got my SPM result, I'm gonna cry or sucide (well, I won't of that, one because life is precious and everything is under god's control. He always prepares everyone the best. His grace is always enough for all of us! ). That's why I've started doing some revision and trying to pull our myself from the social media. Sometimes I feel like I wanna online but I can't because the accounts are logged. PEACE. Without wasting times on that I feel like the whole day is a useful day, a productive life. This makes me think of go against desires. Well, teenagers or old people or adults or children should learn how to go against desires. 

I'm gonna end my post so as to do something more meaningful. 

So, bye.

Salted fish.

Elisa Jean.

1.4.2014

Tuesday

2:05

Pressure

Today is the second last day of March and the first day of the week. I'm really lazy right now, because I don't feel like doing my homework that I need to pass up tomorrow. It's a shame of me because I fail doing any things. I'm such a bad bad student. I'm not supposing my SPM will get a good grade. However, I'll try my best to get rid of the laziness in my body and screw with the 10 subjects I'm having in school and 2 music courses ( which cause my time is use up all the way ( time management is bad )).

I've been really lazy throughout the week. I didn't do much revision. I watched television. This is a typical me life style. I'm such a horrible person. So, don't ever think that I'm amazing or what else or I'm smart or dull.( Yea, I'm a dull ).

I was sick yesterday afternoon and night. I was like no energy and having fever. Amazingly, today I'm OK. Thanks God for this! Yeah, and I finally got my shoes washed. You may be thinking I'm a last minute person, I'm gonna tell you, YES. And soon will not. ( HOPEFULLY)

Well, I locked my facebook account and my instagram. I feel like I've spent to much time doing something nonsense. And I did it. (Y)

I'm stressed out recently. I gave myself pressure all the time. Here, I would like to mention that I'm a perfectionist. I can't stand something that aren't good enough. I don't mean people, but things that can be done better but I didn't make it / couldn't make it. I've always been wondering about how can people excel so well in their studies, sports or music or socialising. Due to the fact that I'm not good in those fields, I am stressed out and pressured myself to do such things.

I hope today is gonna be productive as my brother and sister are having their meetings with friends. I'm the only one who is free right now.

So, yea. One should always surrender things to God. I'll surrender my pressure to Him.

One of the things that I screw up with.

Especially the part that my left palm feels like being tortured. 

Chinese book which I bought yesterday. 

I felt in love with the cover because it is rose. 

And this book is the writing of the winner of the competition in Malaysia. 

This is another Chinese book that I bought yesterday at RM 30.00

The writer is from China. 

Thanks for reading my post,

Elisa Jean.
30.3.2014
Sunday
1:55 p.m

A Little Love

Hi there! I wanna to share with you something. It was meaningful.

Yesterday, I went to my guitar center for obviously learn how to play guitar. At this stage, my skill is just terrible and I'm just an amateur. I've not told the "public" that I've started learning it because I'm scared that people will discourage me. You know, I'm always discouraged by people. That's a weird feeling. 

Anyway, as usual, I walk there with my mum. I pity my mum a lot because she is the one who always sends me here and there. I don't want to trouble my mum in this way. 

Just as we closed our house's gate, it started raining. It was a heavy one. Therefore, I prayed that it would stop or not to be a heavy one, because my guitar will be wet and unusable. Thanks God that the traffic was good as we directly crossed the first road and waited to cross the second road. While waiting the rain didn't show its favor to rain heavier. Then, not more than 1 minute, we crossed both the road. Thanks God.

Oh wait. I forget to mention we brought an umbrella which was useful too. You know, my clothes didn't have the rain patches which is embarrassing. 

I had my lesson. Because I arrived earlier, I had 5 minutes time alone in the room. I prayed that the people there get influenced by Christians so that they have eternal life. And may bless them.

This was a really great experience. Before you have your lesson, you pray that the lesson will go smoothly. With this, I didn't feel scared or nervous all the way throughout the lesson. Learning is fun, peeps!

The lesson ended. I felt nothing because I was peaceful in mind. HAHA. Then my teacher and his ' wife ' ( I don't know who is the lady besides she is the owner of the center, but it looks like she is my teacher's wife. ) decided not to let me wait outside but inside the counter there. I wasn't pleased because I didn't like troubling others. And I told them I could wait outside until my mum was here. They said no. They wanted me to call my mum. I was like a helpless kid, but obviously not because I felt like I'm the oldest among the students. However, learning is fun!

I told them I didn't like troubling my mum and told them that I'd take care of my guitar ( not to let it get rained ). They finally said OKAY. Then I proceed to outside. 

Outside, it was raining heavily. I couldn't bear it. I stood outside the bakery shop. Inside the bakery shop, I saw two men ( the assistants of the shop ) looking outside helplessly. I felt that they were waiting for business, or perhaps a woman or kid buying the cheapest bread in their shop. Thanks God for the shelter of the bakery shop, my guitar didn't get wet, and I didn't. 

While waiting for the presence of my mum, I watched the rain drops. They were vigorous. It was more vigorous if the wind presented. I was thinking that God actually help us in the way when we were strong or whatever, He makes us stronger. And the love is enough.

I really thank God for the teachers I have and my parents. They show their love in different ways but yet, I still can feel a little of them. I'm a naughty girl and rebellious one. Thanks the teachers' patient and their cares on me. 

Thanks for reading my blog. 

Elisa Jean X

8:15 a.m

28.03.2014

Friday

 

Stop : Continue...

Today will be over and tomorrow will be the today. Hi guys! I'm Elisa Jean here! ( Obviously...)

Lately, I've been discovering something new ( to me). And I flashed back my past and found that I was a terrible kid when I was young. The insecurity in me and the low- self esteem I had, you'll never know how that has hurt a kid like me (was, I'm no longer young, but old).

In fact you are curious about the life I had before moving with my family to here, where I've been living for 7 years, here is the lame true story.

Well, I don't like writing my history nor talking about it, because that makes me feel like I'm 70+ but I'm only 17. That's not cool, but I wanna share with you ( the insecurity part, and how I've learnt to not to be one ).

When I was 11, things went perfectly well. My class teacher loved me and my sister so much that she always gave more attention to us, which made me felt like she was unfair to the others. My classmates were all fine and good, but I was always insulted because of my names and all that. This made me felt like I was a super noob and dull person. You know, that's why instead of putting my name Elisa Pau, I use Elisa Jean. That sounds better.

Anyway, calling me anything wasn't the worst I'd experienced. The worst was that I was laughed because my results were not as good as my sister. ( FYI: my sister is hardworking and smart in her way, everyone is unique, why can't I be the stupid one? but people were comparing both of us. ) I didn't like that feeling. Until the day I got my UPSR results, I cried and felt sad about it.

Though I had got a really bad result, I  still got the chance to study with my sister in the same class. Form1 in my high school was a mess. There was once I promised myself not to involve in any school activities as I said I didn't like the school. However, it turned out I participated in running, marching, clubS meetingS and etc. You see, people change. I change, you change. That's the fact.

My Form 1 results weren't good as my history subject nearly failed. After the last term of Form 1 experiencing the nearly fail in History subject, the next year I made History textbook on my hands nearly every day in school. The important thing was that not to fail it. Because failing is a shame of mine.

Form 1 I was a cheerful and naughty girl, Form 2 I was a noob and dull girl. The transformation have began since Form 2. The truth was that I didn't believe in anyone anymore, especially friends. All I had was Emily as my friend. You are right she is my sister.

Well, I think that I was stupid and really crazy in the way that results and what others are saying were the most important. The question is that DO YOU NEED TO DO THINGS TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL YOU ARE LOYAL TO THEM?

Seriously, my case was that I made people around me as my GODS. ( Oh dear how can I do that? ) Or made myself as who I had faith in. That's why I was weak and had no strength.

Now, what people have done to me, I forgave. Because everyone was once a child, a shameless child. So, yea. Now, I believe that my friends will not tell lie to me because I believe that they are good.

Still, life has to be continue. Stop here to write about a little of my history makes me feel weird and tired, because I'm feeling old. Super old.

Let's continue our lives with joy, love and faith.

Short because God gives me this height. 

That's why everyone is unique.

With the unfashionable clothes and hairstyle, I'm Elisa Jean. 

Thanks for reading,
Elisa Jean,
7:45 a.m,
25/03/2014
Tuesday.

Art

Hi guys! I'm happy right now because I just finished my English tuition homework. ( For your information, I'm having my tuition this evening, so I just did my last minute work. )

I decide to post this post now because I feel like writing something and feel like sharing to you. Yea, you, my reader. I'll probably tell you about the life I'm having right now, though I don't really like expose myself to the internet too much.

I have just realized how big that the fear I've had had eaten my faith in God. ( You must be thinking why God again? ) You know, when you are doing something without faith and confidence, I tell you, you can't do it well. I'm right here and this is the true statement that I've discovered. THE ONLY ENEMY IS FEAR. Okay, this sentence is quoted from the Frozen, when Elsa was facing problem with her super natural power. And the only thing disturb her is that she has fear.

Well, after having many lessons with my piano and guitar teachers, I found that art is a thing that present your personally and present feeling. I'm quite sure that both of my teachers know me very well ( even more than my mom does ). Because they always hear what I play and how I express it with the piano and the guitar. So, if you get a chance to listen your friend play any musical instruments, you will know well about his personally feeling.

I'm always searching people who are interested in arts. Because in my society, there aren't many of them who are really into art ( I don't mean that I'm very into art, yea sometime I do ).

It's a really bad thing when I was told that my skills can be improved but the feeling that I have when I play the musical instruments can't. Which means I will stop at there if I refuse to take the fear out of my mind. FEAR. I know you are slowly get out of my mind and my body. Because I've my father God who is always in my mind more than you do!!

Seriously, I hope the day when I'm no more afraid will come very soon. Because the fear is disturbing me like I can't concentrate and can't do things well. I'm sure there is one day when I ( with my God together ) can overcome it and stay strong in this way.

Thanks for reading my blog again because I know every post that I've posted is not very interesting but yet I expressed them with the fear I'm having, I was having, I had been having and I had.

Elisa Jean X
21.03.2014
4:50 p.m

The confident person that I've met before. 

Week

Hi there. Hmm... There are too many things happened last week. I'm sort of lazy for the whole week. You know, laying on my bed and empty my brain. That's bad, if you are a kid, and you are reading this, please note that you are not required to learn from me!

I've just finished practising my piano. I was stressed out once ( last year ) while playing piano. Last year was like totally a mess but I learnt many things and this made me feel like I'm loved.

Okay, besides talking about the past ( which I don't really like, because I feel like I'm a grandmother ), I actually look forward to the things that are gonna happened. For example, launching rocket ( the small rocket which  you can easily make it by using bottles and all that, ya, you know... ) on this Wednesday with my teammates. I don't like doing group work but I end up being a part of the team. And, I feel like I'm the weakest there. Nevermind, what I can do, I'll do my best.

Yea. Recently, there is a motto which push me to do things well. This motto is super powerful. It was my last minute motto but after the first exam of this year, it turns out to be my study motto. The motto is Harvard motto. I don't really know how to  rephrase it to be a cool and pro sentence - Every second that you use to succeed something is very important, even though until the thing you have been doing nearly comes to an end. So, before exam, I held tight to this motto. I was thinking that even though there is still one minute left, I'll try my best to read and study the thing. And don't ever look down on the last minute. If you use the last minute wisely, the opportunity you can score A is higher. Haha, what a lame last minute motto. Emily actually named the motto as E.L.M.M - aka Elisa Last Minute Motto.

So, yea. My results neither bad enough nor good enough. Still, I have to study instead of online. Headache.

Woh, and this week my heart nearly breaks again. My guitar string broke. Read carefully, MY GUITAR STRING BROKE. It is not broken, but it broke. Got it? Yea. Kind of sad sad feeling I have now.

My daily life now is very colourful. I feel that there is always a road for me to walk although I'm a bit old and lack of energy.

Till I blog again.
Thanks for reading this post.

p.s I've just finished reading a book :D Yay!

Elisa Jean
5.55 p.m
17.03.14

Bridge

Hey guys! It's so strange that I post a blog post on Monday. Hmm... I feel like writing something because I've learnt something.

Yesterday, I went to church. It's been a grace from God that I've the opportunities to go to church and learn God's words. In church, we study about God's words ( I've mentioned ) and that really makes me feel like I've much more to learn. Besides, I really love transforming myself from a bad person to a good person. ( I don't mean I love being a bad person ).

Besides that, I love my friends in church. I'm really touched by their friendliness. They are really my brothers and sisters in Christ. Well, yesterday, I really think about how God has placed me. He plans my life and let me to choose what I want. That's the grace of God.

After the meeting yesterday, I really think about how easy can a person's life be. Suddenly while aboarding in an airplane, you can suddenly disappear. Sad case. Really, we need to pray for them.

Well, special things about last week was that I had a photo shooting section with Emily, my sister. Well, my attire was my school uniform. This year will be my last year wearing the uniform. To be honest, I like think the design isn't very nice but still Okay to wear it.

Here is some photos...
Don't laugh if you think I look stupid and weird.

The tone of the photos was sorrowful and the feeling was like you were in a hardship and had the difficulty of coping it by yourself. 

I actually understand that everyone has got his own talent and his own very special power. It's just that some of us tend to discover it later or earlier. 

So, that's why God is fair and square. 

Feel the love from my church friends. Therefore, I drew this. 

Love and the vessels. 

Till I blog again. :D

Elisa Jean 

8:45 p.m 

10.03.14

Hey Presidents!

HI there!

I'm happy right now. Super happy. The feeling is nice. I wanna to post a blog post on the past Tuesday, but I didn't make it because I was too busy with my studies. Well, having tests for the past two days, today I finally can release my deep deep breathe.

I'm thankful about my life. You know, being a high school student has got a lot of freedom as well as responsibility. This is my last year in high school, but I choose to do something special.

Involving school activities was my Form 4 life. I tell you that the life was horrible but I've learnt many things. Especially when you are a committee of a club, uniform or society. I was a committee of Nature Club. I thought I could sit there and do nothing. Who knew, I was in the TrEES group. No choice, I had to do my part.

To be honest, I didn't do anything much last year for the TrEES. I was like staring my teammates doing the works. And I was the one who talked a lot and complained about this and that. I didn't want to elaborate much on how lazy I was, so yea...

There is one thing that I must state now. It is the politics of the committees. I don't know whether this thing has happened in any other clubs before. But I'm sure I've been through this politics.

Many of my friends asked me why I wanted to quit my club and my uniform. I just wanna stay in a peace and happy environment. Seriously, I don't want to know how people cheat the others. Like really. I'm so sad about that. They play tricks and you don't even know. And you will never know. They can tell teacher bad things about you and teachers start not liking you. Or they can even form their own group and leave you out. And the saddest thing is that you'll never know who you can trust. One day, your friends will leave you because they want something. One day, your friends will fight something with you because they wanna to be the president? I don't know. ( This is all what I think okay? )

I don't know how the presidents of the co-curriculum survive in their co-curriculum. I'm fed up of being a committee. Listening to people talk back people, I'm kind of fed up and wanna to close myself in a room and tell myself the world is as wonderful as what we watch in the Disney's movies. And, I just wanna cry.

I'm enough of these. They are fighting and fighting. Why is the world like that? ( This is also what I think. It may not be real )

So, yea! After a year of involving in these, I've learnt a lot of things. I finally found that actually God wants me to know how to behave well and be His lovely child. The only way to success is to by hardworking and be righteous. Righteous.

I read about Proverbs on January 2014. I finally understood that I should behave well but not planning tricks to let people be in a difficult situation. This is how I should behave. Therefore, I start controlling myself not to be a hypocrite. Dear Lord, help me!

This year I'm not suffering about no time studying but I'm wasting my time... So, I really thank God about that. He let me have my choice. God's grace is always enough for me and for you too!

Thanks for reading my post.
I know it is a little bit sad and sad and sad, but please don't be too sad.
This is all my opinion and I'm not talking bad about people. This is just my thinking and my imagination.
If you think I'm wrong, please leave comments.
If you think I'm right, please leave comments too.

Elisa Jean
6.3.14
2.15 p.m

Investment

Hello!

There are kinds of stress wandering in my life now. I feel busy but yet, I manage to take my time out writing this post. Okay, actually I'm just wanna be lazy...

Well, the older you grow the more problems you get. This is kind of fact. You know, now the world is struggling about money problems. Just two days before, the street beside my house got a drama on. There was a couple walking on the street and suddenly they were robbed. The girl shouted loudly and the guy was crying for help. Obviously, I don't think there is a need to help them since I can't even run fast... Back to words, they were helpless and just about 3 seconds after that, robber drove his motorbike away with a loud noise.

Think about this, the couple was shouting because there was someone taking away their property. I'm sure that the robber was struggling about money problem. This shows how important that money is in the world.

As what I've named my post- Investment, I'm thinking about the balance between God and Money and also Life. These three things are able to change a life of a human. So, dear readers, think about what is important to you? Your life? Your God? or your Money?

Let's talk about my view. To be honest, humans can't be what they want and most of the humans do not like having a responsibility on their shoulders. However, we tend to control the things that we can control and we can't. That's why money and life are things that people value the most.

I believe that a life which is full of colours is a meaningful life. But life is short. Too short for us to do things that we want, we like. As I say life is short. This means that life is not everlasting? Yea. I guess so. Our body can't last that long.

So, yea. What I'm trying to do right now is that I wish to invest my life to learn about God's words and world. I use money to invest books so that I can read them. Besides, I take up a lot of hobbies. Is that what God wants our life be? Hmm.... I'm still thinking about.

Dear readers, if you have some thoughts on this topic and you wanna let me know, please comment this post. I'll be really happy to see your comment!

The World became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

- John 1:14

Thank your for reading my weekly post!
Elisa Jean
2:66 p.m
26.02.2014

Felicity

Hi guys!

I'm so happy today. Not to say happy but I'm not sad, so I'm happy. Thinking about I can do many things at the age of 17, I'm happy. The joy and all that come to me.

While thinking about happiness, I think about the sad things that have happened to me and the people around me. I know this doesn't link well, but I think it links.

My tears fell down from my eyes on my cheeks before. I'm known as the person who cries a lot in my family. Dear readers, I know if you know me well enough, you know that I like crying. Well, crying makes me feel better. Crying makes me not to fear about the things around me but to concentrate on crying. You know, sometimes when we have bad feelings, we'll try to do something that actually makes us stop having negative feelings. That's it!

This year, I've cried before. Yea. I cried about the world. I cried about the evil world. I can't stand so many things. I can't stand people who are proud of themselves and the liars. I've no such power to say these words and judge people. So, may God help me in this way that I won't hate people but love them. Okay, back to my topic. Crying. As I said I cried about people who are being very proud of themselves and trying to control others. Others can have their own thoughts. ( This makes me feel like I'm sinning while writing this post ).

So, yea. Then, you might ask, 'What make you happy? '. I''m telling you now. Learning things makes me feel happy. The happiness is a thing that I can't write it in word. Learning musical instruments, learning something from the books and the bible or some more things make me feel joyful. I feel that God really loves me in the way that I'm able to do things and learn. That's amazing.

Well, sometimes I feel like I have a lot of hatred towards the people around me. This is the thing that I should change now. So, if you can help me, help me by prayers. Because it helps a lot.

Having hatred actually makes people feel unhappy and angry. Sometimes, it is worst. So, why don't we just forget how people show their black faces to you? Instead think that they actually feel that the black faces are their most beautiful. That's why they show them to you!

Recently I've been listening to this guy's youtube songs. The songs he played are fantastic. I guess you know who he is. He is Sungha Jung! Okay. I'm not promoting him to you, but sharing good things with you. I get my blog post idea from one of his songs' titles.

Here you go!

Felicity ( by Sungha Jung )

Felicity (noun): 1. Happiness. 2. a pleasing feature.

Thanks for reading the post. 

Elisa Jean. X

21.02.2014

6.00 p.m 

Old

Hi there. I have a sudden feeling to write a blog post. The deep deep feeling. I don't know if you've got bored of my blog contents. Some were about my stupid life, my thoughts and my stupid everyday routine. 

I've too many fun in my life. My life is full of colour. You are right, I'm trying to make my life a meaningful life and a life with no regrets. That's why I'm still learning piano and studying my textbooks (-.-). There is only way to change your life status, which is by studying. Okay. This sentence is quoted from my form 4 history book, who I can't remember (at least I can still remember there is such sentence, gotta work hard on my history). I'm sure that he was a Chinese. If every Chinese has got this thought, then I'm a half Chinese. I don't really think that studying helps in all the way by changing your life status, indeed the most important is a person's attitude and character. Attidute of a person builds his life? Haha. Ok. I think first of all, we should believe in God. 

So, yea! Taking up too many hobbies make me feel stress out sometimes. These hobbies make me feel like I still have something to do. This makes my life more colorful. One of these is that playing piano. Here is a history of my piano lessons.

I've learnt piano since I was young, like the age 5. You might be thinking that I'm in a high grade now. However, you are wrong. Totally wrong. I stopped at the age 8 and retook it last year. So, I pressured myself a lot in playing it. I want to be zero errors. But if I can play a piece of music without errors, I'm no longer Elisa Jean. Then I'll be Elizabeth Jean or Elisa Samuel or Patrick or Richard. Yea, you know, things are not pefect with me. What to do? I've to accept it since human is not perfect and we have to ask strength from God! 

So, yea. Piano makes me think of how old I'm. "It is not special that I learn very fast, but it is because I'm too old to learn while others've been learning since young", here is the real meaning of mine. Okay, tell you this is another quote from a book that I borrowed from library. It is a Melayu language book ( I forced myself to read something like that and I slowly have some favour on it). This sentence is so inspiring. Ok. And the condition that I'm facing, I definetely wanna surrender. I feel like I'm so old in everything. However...

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because god has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

Yea. This is another quotation from the bible (Roman 5: 3-5).

These are the words that make me feel like it is worth to do something that I don't like. You know, go against the lusts and desires. 

Thanks for spending your time reading this bad English blog post.

Apologizes are being made to you if you really think that I should study more English then only write a post. I'm really sorry to pollute your eyes, waste your time, dirty your brain and make you angry.

Elisa Jean.

9:43 p.m

17.02.2014

Monday

I Won't Give Up On Us

Hi there! I've not been posting since last week. Now, I'm not free, but busy, which mean now, I'm being lazy. You see, every Thursday is a busy and lazy day. There is a thing that I should be grateful of, which is I'm still alive.

Yea. During this week, I've done many things. Things like studying and sleeping. I must mention here, I don't study a lot, but sleep a lot. Not saying that I've wasted my time, I actually have wasted my life. Time = Life. Don't waste your time because you only have one life.

There are many things happened in this week. I don't wanna list all of them out, because that will be pretty boring. I'll just talk about special things.

I have my science lessons nearly every week day. My science teachers are pretty good in teaching. Ok, maybe is that I've changed my attitude. During the lessons, I paid my attention on them. Like physics, I wasn't like last year. Now, I'm able to concentrate on the lessons. Thanks God. My bio and chem, I'll work hard on them, I'm having tests next month and this Saturday.

I experience how great God is. Really. Like now, I'm no more afraid of people and being more sociable, I guess. Besides, I've started to get rid my lazy bugs from my body. That's pretty good. And well done, Elisa. And I'll not give up on being a better person and having better character.

I've been telling you ( my readers ) about how obsess that I'm on music. Seriously, throughout this week, nearly everyday I'm listening to this person's guitar music. I'm pretty amazed about him. He is Sungha Jung. He is only 18 ( older than me one year). And he is so famous ( at least I know who he is ). I believe that this fellow is hardworking and determined in music. So, yea, I'm learning these things which is- being hardworking and determined. It's hard for me to change, since I've had the bad habits since don't know when.

DETERMINED AND HARDWORKING.

Felicity :D

I won't give up ( Jason Mraz ).

Ok. :D

I end my post.

13.2.2014

2:50 p.m