Thursday, October 29, 2020

the regrets

 it has been so long since i last wrote. 

today i wasted most of my time in my room, watching facebook videos, just killing time, killing myself. it is hard to be discipline.

i still cannot forgive myself from what i have done. the hurt that i have done to my parents. saying that they are not loving. when in actual it is me who has not being loving, not showing care to my parents. they are getting older and older everyday. mum has sickness, but she is still showing her strength, through doing housework and little little things in house. while i am here not feeling grateful about what they have provided me. 

i guess i just need some friends and some space for myself, to see what the world has been. i have been too focusing on myself, that i forget what it is like to even care about the people around me. 

mco has made me focusing so much on myself, and just being house girl. 

i just wish that i could come to a point where i can re-love people, and love myself instead of getting myself into my lazy desire and at least not to be too overwhelmed by the work that i have.