Youngsters

From left: JS Pau, me(Elisa Jean), Emily Pau, Eric Pau, Sharon Pau

Hello everyone. I've not been posting anything since my last post. My last post was about God's love towards his creation, especially mens. It's not enough for a post to talk about how God loves us. So, I'm now continuing discover how He loves me. And I want you to discover it too! If you're reading my blog, you may know my character and my English level as well. Besides, please, please, let your heart be open, so that God can send you His love. And please share to me the love of Him on you.

This post gonna be pretty interesting post (I feel like). I want to tell you something about the youngsters. So, I myself is aged 16 this year(2013), next year gonna turns 17. I feel like I'm old and young. I wish I'm still studying in primary school, but the condition tells me that I'm no longer young. The cool thing about old is that you're old. The cool thing about young is that you're young. Well, there is nothing different between young and old, except the physical level. 

When I was young, I thought about the people at the age of 13-20. I thought they liked to have relationships with someone and that was what their life were about. And now, I'm within this age. I feel like I'm a total nerd and a dern ( spell the word descending). And that's not about relationships. I want to say, I'm too old to being young. Got it? Yes, there are people who love having relationship in my form. There are plenty of them. So what to do? I pray for them as they won't waste their time doing something that cannot last forever. 

Here is one short story that I really want to tell you! When I was going back to Bintulu, I went to my uncle's ping pong training place. I went there for fun ( that was my first time playing ping pong). I went there with my niece and nephew. Then I met a boy, a ten year old boy. He knows how to play well in ping pong and he teached me. Then he said something. I didn't hear it clearly, but I can tell you, it's about a question of relationship. Then, I asked him to ask again. He refused. I didn't mind at all. Because I know how well about how children look at the youngsters. I was that kind of child before. 

Nevermind, I let it past. After that I recalled about youngsters that I'd met before. I thought about how they behave. And now I'm on travelling. I watched too many people who were so OPEN. 

Next year is gonna be a cool year. I'll be studying like a total nerd, playing music like a poor and doing excercise like a fattie. Oh yea! And I'll be learning God's words like a super duper stupid person (I mean the glory is to God, and I'm nothing without God). 

I may not be playing games ( though I don't really play game), facebooking, instagraming. 1st of January will be my last day for these? Haha. I don't know. May God lead my life.

If you are a youngster, please please please, don't waste your time! If not, you'll be wasted by your time in your future time. Value your family and your studies. Don't value something that will waste you! 

So, STUDY AND STUDY! 

Thanks for reading my post! Enjoy your day! 

God loves you and bless you!

Elisa Jean XO

Overwhelmed Love

Hi guys! I'm writing this post after came back from Bintulu, my hometown. This time was a great experience, though I didn't stay there long enough. Sigh. Anyway, I found out too many things and I wanted to share with you. I'll not share too much about it, because I want to have a privacy on somethings. You know, when you meet people and people start talking about what you have written in facebook or blogger, you'll be like WHAT? YOU'VE BEEN READING MY BLOG?!

I still wanna share with you guys because I think there are something that God has told me and I want to tell you about how He loves everyone including you! OK!

Bintulu was a very soundly and nice place to stay at. However, recently, the condition has changed literally. I don't know how to describe it well. So, lets talk about people there. The people are OK. My grandpa lives there obviously with my grandma. My grandma has just gone travelling, so left my grandpa there alone in a big house. I was there for 4 days. So, I stayed with my grandpa. I felt the loneliness of him very much. I don't know how to say, I just wanna write this post when I saw him after I arrived there. I was thinking about how does he lives and so on... Nevermind. There is always a show of love from him. He wanted me to eat fruits and all. Yea. I must say that he didn't actually say like ELISA EAT THESE. However, he was just willingly to let me eat the fruits. The fruits that he has planted.

My niece, Joyce, who is a really tall and thin girl, showed love to me too. I don't know how to say and what to say about the real action of love and sacrifices. HAHA. Ok. She bought me things. Ok, maybe you will be saying I'm a money minded person or presents minded person. But I'm not. It is just that she bought the things from different places that she has gone to. So, you can see, she always thinks about people. I mean whenever she goes, she always thinks about people she loves.

Here are some photos that I've taken in Bintulu. Not much, just two.

Outside my grandpa's house

Nephew! Jayden

After coming back, on the road side back to house in KL.

Post ends here. 

Thanks for reading.

Elisa Jean.

Bugs

Hey guys ( I mean everyone )! I have this sudden thought of writing a post about desire. So, I named this post BUGS. Yea, quite a good name for this post and me! I've been attracted by my desires to do something that are not necessary. Like, facebooking, watch Youtube video, taking nap, talking and wondering. These activities shouldn't be included in a holiday routine of mine! Never ever! I mean yea, I don't really like wasting my time doing something that are meaningless. Sigh.

Ok. So, today I killed one bug in my body. I finally washed my shoes! CLAPPP... My jogging shoes and my school shoes. I wanted to wash them this morning but ended up I washed them today evening. I was so lazy as I wanted to sleep but not washing my shoes. Thanks God, at last, I did the washing but not sleeping. HEHE.

I read this story in Bible this morning. It is about Jesus healed a man with leprosy. The man with leprosy believed that Jesus could cure him and he asked Jesus for healing. And then, Jesus said OK, He healed the person. Immediately, the person was cured.

I am thinking about this story, if I'm willing to overcome something or to change something, I should ask God for help but not on my own. Therefore, I prayed that the bugs in my body can die. Die forever. After praying I felt lazy again and didn't want to wash my shoes. Then, many hours had gone, I just washed my shoes. Thanks God! Glory to the Lord!

Yea. Actually if you believe God can do it for you, you ask Him to give you. He will give you and the medicine reaction is fast and good. Although sometimes you feel that why God doesn't reply your message, he will let you know why he doesn't reply you so fast. He always has his own plan. The best, big and nice plan.

So, I have many plans next year. WOHOO. Maybe the plans I'm doing will not involve with too much people. HAHAHA.

With joyful mood,
Elisa Jean X

Was

Hello my reader(whoever is reading this post)! I'm sorry that I keep posting passage like non stop. Don't ask me why, because I'm gonna tell you why. I've too much to say. I wanna let people know what I'm thinking. Not that I want people to notice me or care about me, but to know what they're doing and what really matter their life. I strongly feel the uneasiness living here in my area. I have the feeling that people are materialistic, money minded and luxurious minded. I can't tell them to stop the thinking but what to do? So, I'm writing this post to tell them & my readers.

So yea. One year ago, I was a stupid, timid and loved pretty girl. I wanted to get good results and wear pretty clothes. That was me. Everyday I checked my mass as I wanted it to be 40 kg/ 90 pounds. Guess what? I always couldn't loss my weight because that time I was 42 kg. People, think about this, how can a person who is 160 cm tall weigh 40 kg? I didn't claim myself a thin or a slim person because I kept thinking I was too fat. I WANNA BE THE SLIMMEST ABD THE THINNEST. I thought that. Just eating 2 pieces of toast as my breakfast, one palm of rice and vege as my lunch and one palm of rice and vege for my dinner and an apple everyday. I drank neither sweet drinks nor drinks beside water. I didn't eat chocolate. I jogged twice a week. That was my routine. I cared too much about my body shape and I couldn't manage to concentrate on my study because I'd been thinking what should I have for my next meal. I suffered hunger and aneroxia nervosa. This unhealthy routine made my face paler and paler until one day... My friend, Mandy, whom mother fetched me for going back school, asked me was I sick. I said no. Then there I realised I was thin enough but still my weight maintain at 41 kg. So, yea I knew I had problem with my health but I didn't care much about it.

Until I was in Form 4, I started stop having this stupid mind set. Because I think food is so and super delicious (except the meat, I'm still not a fan of red meat). So yea, but then I found out I gained weight and I felt like I'm being fat. Therefore, I felt sad at once. Due to the activities I'd joined in my school, my busy led to my careless in my eating habit.

Till I realised there are much more things I have to do instead of having my worrying mode of my eating habit all the time. I jo maximum 4 times a week, minimum once. Then I started know that as a Christian I shouldn't join this 'getting fit' gang. I shouldn't be having this stupid thinking in my mind, but to know more about learning like Jesus's characters and then spread the gospel.

'KEEP ONESELF FROM BEING POLLUTED BY THE WORLD' 

I came across this verse while I was reading Bible. I wondered if I was polluted by the world. The answer must be yes. I was polluted by the world. I thought about how important getting scholarship and earning as much money as I can in the future and how to attract people to notice me.  I wanted people to mind me, to care about me. I wanted to be the only and the most special person. I didn't care, I just loved it. 

Now, I just wanna share this to you. I strongly feel that there is a God who conducts the whole world and love everyone( as everyone is created by Him). I can tell you my realisation is because of His grace as he let me know that I'm weak and strengthless without Him. Don't tell me there isn't such thing as God. The whole world shows that the things are created by someone. Example, you're now using an iPhone or maybe Samsung. This 2 products must be created by someone or a group of people, they can't be created without someone. So, same as you and the whole world! You are created by God and loved by Him.

So yea! Here comes to an end of my post. I just wanna let you know that you are special as God has created you. Maybe you think you are stupid, but I tell you, no one is stupid. Like me, stupid person (my brain is small) I still can write something long like this although you may not understand some of my sentences because of grammar mistakes. 

Always be joyful & loved,

Elisa Jean.

Gifts

Hai everybody! I feel so excited about this Christmas month. I feel like a bird flying high up the sky and chirping around the world, letting the world to feel the joy and the peace that I'm feeling. This joyful moment is gonna passed away and I'll be facing the new year. New pressure, new things, new life and new food! OMG. I love food very much, I can't resist food. It was too delicious and tasteful. Food gives me such big desire!

I bought this for fun. One is at RM1.40. 

So, yeah. Do you know why ones send gifts to the others during Christmas? Yea. Now, I'm gonna tell you. It's because the birth of Jesus Christ is a gift to all the people on the earth from He born till his body died, and after his body died. So, this means that Jesus birth was a thing that people are joyful with because he was born to wash off our sin. So, yea. Let's round an applause to our Jesus Christ!

That's so cool. I mean I don't have any requirement to receive any gifts but yet God gives me the gifts. I'm so happy. So  hohoho.

My mum has been Santa Claus for years. Maybe because her size suits the Santa duty... Haha. Just kidding, she is fit right now, and she likes doing exercise. She is supermodel! :P  Yea. This Santa made me warped the gifts and my sister and I ( the dwarfs). However, I enjoyed doing this job! Who is the Santa sending the gifts to? Obviously not the dwarfs. Yea. My auntie and her family. Ok...

The gifts. Haha. I'm not going to tell you what are inside!

Haha. Yesterday I went to Amcrop Mall to buy books. If you ask me why did I go there, I would tell you I went there because the books were affordable. I love reading books. I just don't know why... Having this super long 2 months holidays I'ld feel lifeless if I have no books to read. Sigh. I don't really like romance because there are kissing and some more things that I don't really agree about ( as in adult shouldn't do that, please!). I like reading books that are about history or some sort of mythology. Theses sorts of books make me think about the characters of people, how people behave. While I love books that are about crimes. So, there may be detective who make the cases closed file. 

I bought these two books each at RM9.90. Actually I bought three books, but I gave one to Emily. 

Okay... I like photographing... SEE, my photography skill is cool. I just took theses photos for my own to see and let you, my readers to see. If you don't like them, just ignore. 

So, yea. Currently I'm reading this book. This book I bought at RM8.00 at Popular bookstore. Kinda cheap. I buy cheap books because I've no money... But I enjoy reading this book. Get it in Popular, it's only RM8.00. Don't think I'm money minded, it's just because I care about how much I've spent ( my papa's money ). 

Drink water while reading. 

So, this photo ends my post. :D

God bless you.

Elisa Jean

December

I'm writing this post. Yeas. Currently. Do you know what is the meaning of treasure? I bet you know. Because your English is better than mine. Haha. Currently, now, is the first day of December. Instead of looking back what I've done in November, it is really disappointing. Ok, never mind, we look forward. This is the new month.

Well, currently I'm reading Konserto Terakhir by Abdullah Hussain. This book is written by a Malay, who I don't really know. This is not an English book, but a Melayu language book. This book is also my this subject Bahasa Melayu's literature. I simply don't like this subject, I suffer a lot by just studying this subject. It is not hard to speak in Melayu as this language is spoken by the Malays who I think they're quite friendly. So, there was once I had to do Bahasa Melayu's aural. I seldom speak use this language so I just simply talked about something about my school ( because I got the topic of What do you think about your secondary school ?). Then, I spoke not fluently, but I personally thought it was better than using English. Sigh. 

Yea. So, this Konserto Terakhir is about a young man whose name is Hilmi. He was a Malay from the countryside ( in Bahasa Melayu, countryside means kampung ). He came to the city to get a job. However, he only had his education level until standard 4, which considered that he could not get a well- paid job. In the city, he stayed in his uncle's house. His auntie was not friendly as his auntie was one of the people who didn't like people who was not educated. So, he was having hard time getting a job. However, he got to be a gardener in his uncle's house. Then, he started to learn piano and his piano fees were RM0! Then, I don't know what has happened, because I haven't read finish.

This story is so touched. I feel the sadness and the bitterness of being the main character. He was keen in playing piano, being a successful man. It was really hard for a man who didn't have much money to learn playing piano. In the end, he became a successful pianist. 

Reflect to myself, I think I'm really blessed as I have the opportunity to have my piano lessons this year and next year too! I really have to be thankful with what I've had. Really! Just calculate the money I've used throughout the year, I must say I've used a lot of money. I bought this and that. Therefore, December is the month which I really need to be humble and stop buying things! Urgh! Just to think how much I've used for my tuition lessons and also my piano lessons. I just can't convince myself to buy anything more. 

Looking forward to the trip back to Bintulu, my hometown, I feel great. Then, I'll have a trip to Australia. I'm really excited. I tell myself not to buy clothes anymore, because I just wanna save money as I wanna do something which will let your mouth opens as big as it can be. Despite money, I've time. Yea. I don't wanna waste my time anymore, because I remember that time is more valuable than money. I'll like to offer my time reading bible and books, and of course, show my love to people around me. So, yea... 

Thanks for reading my grammar mistakes and my unreadable sentence structure. 

With love,

Elisa Jean.

p.s Currently training myself to be a muscular man! :D 50 times push- up ; 100 times crunches ; 80 times lifting legs. :)

Holidays

Well! Hi everyone. I'm please to write this post because I'm happy right now. Not because of anything, but it is because I'm on holiday! Resting in my house, listening to the music, playing piano, watching tv, etc etc. I've got a lot of recreation to do! I've got a lot of time thinking about my future too! It is true that I love wondering about my future. I wish I'm gonna to be successful in life. Really! That's how much I want! See, this is what human always think about! Want to do this, want to do that!

Not struggling on what I want to study, I've always wanted to study fashion designing ( this year ). It's amazing that this ambition can last for a year! How cool it is. Ok. I know I can study that, but the only thing is that I may not be successful in my life. Ok. I've been praying to God about this thing, I surrender this to Him! I've I end up not doing this thingy, I'm not going to be sad, because that's God's plan. Glory to the. Lord!

Besides this, I'm also planning about my next year. So, yeah! Next year Is my form 5 life! I can't believe. I ready miss my form 4 life., though I regret some of the things that I've done before. If you ask me what is so interesting about form 4 life, I will say that there weren't any things were interesting. If you ask me 'would you like to join marching again?' Or, 'do you regret joining marching? ' I would like to say, I'll not join marching anymore but I don't regret joining marching! I wanna tell you, thoughtout this marching activity, I've known that I'm not physically strong and mentally strong enough. So, thanks God for letting me know that I'm just a little creation who need Him more than the other things.

Form 5 gonna be fun, I suppose! That'll be my honey moon. I tell you, if you say form 4 is honey moon year, I'm gonna tell you that you are wrong! Totally wrong! For 4 life was hardship of mine though I enjoyed suffering and being stupid all the way. Making new friends, public speaking, speaking English and all sort of that, these were what I've learnt thoughout the year. Form 5, I'm gonna focus on my study and my piano. Maybe that's all. Oh no! I forget something! I also wanna do God's work! Hehe... Doing this job, I'm gonna face hard times and difficult situation. I hope I'll say I don't regret. Ok...

Using my holiday to do revision on my study, I think you bet I'm not doing the revision. I'll like to tell you that I'm doing add maths now. Terrible tough, though it is form 4 questions. I mean doing these questions are not hard but clearing my lazy bugs from my body is super hard. I just wish that I can do revision of at least one subject. At least!

Being a lazy bug and an untidy person, you'll not want to know how untidy and dirty I'm. I personally don't mean my mental is dirty. I hope I'm tidying my table, but I'm not. So, I hope I can tidy my table and be a tidy person. So that when my friends come to my house, they will be allowed to come inside my room. T.T

Officially, I'm not going to participate the activities in school. That activities= co curriculum activities. So, just yo let you know. Haha.

Ok. I hope your holiday is well used. If you are not in holiday, then that's good, because the more holidays people get, the lazier they are. So, I'm one of them.

Bye.

Sincerely love you,
Elisa Jean. ❤️XO

Smiles

There has been much to say because there is no way things to stop unless, I die. So, I'm writing this post because I feel like writing it. Seriously, I don't know who is reading my blog and I don't know is there anyone reading my blog. Being a blogger, there isn't hard time for me because I'm just a typical blogger who writes about things has happened to me. I'm not a fashion blogger or a blogger who likes to teach cooking. Therefore, putting some effort in things I've observed and written them down here are much easier than that fashion and cooking.

Well, I've been lazy throughout the week. I bought  3 books in popular. Each book at rm8 only. That's what I'm happy about. I drew myself in my creative art blog, and posted them on instagram as well as facebook.

These were the nerd Elisa JeanS. 

Besides doing this, I did a lot of thinking for the whole week. I don't know why, I love thinking about how people behave and how they act when there are something happen around them. And I love looking at people on how they would like to dress themselves up. Through dressing up, you can actually see how a person's character. Of course, you can't judge a person with his/her outlook. Don't ever judge anyone, OK? Yea.. I read books about teenagers and how they behave. This is funny and interesting. I really did observation on my friends and my classmates. The only funny fact for them is that they love taking photo. I mean they love camwhoring. I call this selfie, because it sounds more like taking pictures of themselves. My friends have got smart phones which are really nice and high- tec. They always take photos of themselves or with the others. I don't know how to describe selfie. ( fail )

Just a big and nice smile, and press the take button on the screen of the smart phone. Then, a selfie photo is produced. That's what I meant. I see the photos they posted, they smiled sweetly and prettily. I'm thinking about how people like to act smiling. ( Just to mention that I actually have done a lot of fake smiling too. :( )

How people wish every time, and every moment is a happy moment. I can see nearly everyone is finding the joy in their life. No more real smile, but a big pretty cute adorable smile. This makes a photo becomes not valuable. I mean I myself too, making the photos becomes not valuable.

Thinking about it. I don't really want to point out that fake smiles are wrongs. I'm just using this as an example to show how people really demand to be happy every moment. So, I'm thinking what can make the teenagers be happy. An iPhone? A Samsung Note 3? Or maybe an iPad? Or what else? Relationship? I guess there are many more. But how can parents fulfill their children's desires? 

The things I've mentioned are those which you can get it with money. However, relationship may not be one of it. Maybe teenagers really want to have a relationship, I mean sweet relationship with someone they like. I'm thinking about how long can a teenagers' love relationship last for? 2 months? 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? Or forever? Well, no one knows when is the end of it or maybe there is no end of it. I don't know.

Think about what this photo means about. What is your definition of love? Tell me by commenting or facebook message me! :D

This week assignment for myself is to find out relationship that a teenagers want. So, yea. You can see how much God love every teenager as He actually puts in so much love that the teenagers know how to love. So, yea. Glory to the Lord! 

With much more love, 

Elisa Jean O

Narrow Road

Ok. This is my 3rd post of the month. This month, for me, it's a special month. How special it is, story starts from the first two weeks of the month. First 2 weeks, I did nothing. Nothing. I stayed lazy and not willing to move. I mean really lazy. Eat, watch, sleep. That was my routine. Lazy routine. I couldn't say too much on what I did, because there were only 3 actions I did. See. I was lazy.

Yesterday, it was the closing ceremony of the TrEES project. This project was sponsered by Affin Bank. This was a really good and exciting experience for me. My team got 2nd place. We were happy and I nearly cried. Ok. Then, there came an end of my co- curriculum life.

Next year, I'm gonna stop some of the co- curriculum. Don't ask me why, because I'll tell you why. I was being tired with the marching for KRS. That was sort of really exhausted and my body would nearly collapsed. In fact, that was sort of bitterness in my life. I don't know how I went through this. Maybe, from the beginning, I shouldn't join this. Maybe now, you ask me why I joined. Then, I'll tell  you now. I joined this because I wanted to get marks for my co- curriculum. You know getting scholarship is hard in Peninsular Malaysia. There is lots of people who are so well- rounded in every aspect. People like me, is the one who can't cope for things like that. So, I decided to participate. Then, I decided to give out on the half way, because I realised, there is nothing much. Doing something like marching for marks, there is no point. Hey, that's real! I don't like being burned under the sun. I don't like the way being commanded. I don't like the way sweating like a crazy and smelly like a bug. Other than that, pushing up. That's the worse part of all. Maybe now, push up for me is no longer a sad case, but still that was a sad case for me.

Besides KRS marching, I joined camping too ( KRS again). That was the worst to me. I didn't get to see my twin sister. Hey! Ok. I didn't know the reason I joined. Maybe because marks again. I used to love marks. Cooking part in the camp was the worst for me. That event, everyone went to get twigs and the boys, actually did all the part. I didn't like that feeling. I felt useless. Then, I started being low- self esteem. Not only that, the sleeping part was also not very good. I slept in a classroom with the other girls. There was no proper bed for me to sleep and the feeling sleeping on the thin sheet of bed was like sleeping on the floor. I couldn't think about it now. That was a nightmare for me.

About running in Sport Day. I was quite happy with it although I lose. There was not much to say about this running event, because I wasn't care about it much, although all the way I didn't manage to get last. I took part in many events : 100mX4 ; 800m ; 400m ; 4X400m. The one I like the most is 100m X4 because it took the least time to run for that and I didn't get to run with those professional athletes.

About the TrEES project, I didn't do much on it but we got the 2nd! OK. That was happy but I nearly fought death. OK. Just joking. I meant, I had some unpleasant time with my sister and my teammates too. However, I prayed to the Lord and He answer my prayers in a special way. I got to overcome this problems and challenges. Through this project, I've seen how God loves me, He placed me in a really difficult situation. Then, I got to know to love people around me and know how to be patient and be grateful to what I have had. There were hard times with teammates who were actually your friends. In other way, I had to love them more, but I didn't. I told God to save me from this situation but it seemed like He didn't do it. However, when I read about one verse in the Bible, I suddenly realised that the difficulties were the place where God showed all His help and His strength.

I am so grateful and I love being loved by Him. This is they way. Now, there is no more the co- curriculum as I'm planning to drop off the KRS. Because I'm no longer love to score marks. Maybe I will still participate in running and my club things ( just a little bit involve in it, ok!). And I will continue joining Christian Fellowship in my school. There are still many youngsters doing things just for something that are not last long. I hope God can give me more challenge and make me stronger and tell the youngsters, they shouldn't be doing something that will be broken one day. Thanks God for everything.

I love you.
Always be joyful and always be love.
Elisa Jean XO

Dreams

I love the way that God creates people. There are tall, short, men and women. All of the humans have got brains and we can think as long as what we want to think about. This is how I feel when comes to learn about how grateful that God puts in His love in all of us without saying ' You, are the stupidest!'. No, there's no way he will say that. He creates all of us according to how he looks like, that is what written in the Bible. So, we have brains and we can think in our own ways.

Dreams, which is a really familiar word like we have heard this word since we was in kindergarten. What is our dreams? I wanna to be a teacher. That's what I used to say. See, maybe you've said this before. So, yea, used to be. Now, I am thinking about what is the quality of being a teacher. Quoting from the Bible of New Testament, Paul advised people not to easily think that we can be people's teachers, because being a teacher, we should have a very good attitude. Don't think that teaching is an easy job (as easy as ABC) , because you don't only teach people about ABC! XD 

So, what's my current dream? No dream, I suppose. Because I don't only have a dream, but dreams. My brain is useful in this field, which is dreaming, so I say mine is not as useful as yours. I wanna to be a botanist, I wanna to be a psychologist ( before that maybe have to be educated as a doctor ), I wanna to be a fashion designer too. I don't know why, these make me feel like I'm just dreaming like dreaming. I'm not good in plant field, because I don't even know what are the names of the plants outside my house. I'm not very good in influencing/ advising people but I love understand how do people feel. That's curiosity in myself. I'm not creative at all to be a fashion designer, as I don't even know how to wear a really good- looking and fashionable clothes. That's it, but I do love seeing people wearing clothes that I suggested for them, and I love seeing people happily wearing their clothes and get along well with their families. 

What to do? I gonna study harder instead of wasting my time dreaming all the day, since my holidays have just started one week + ago. I'm so grateful that God gives man choice to choose, so that, they know what is responsibility. He makes us into humans because He loves all of us and He actually has planned your future for you, however, he makes you choose your own life to live. He loves you and gives you living in the Earth. How good is he? Very good. 

So, talk about recently, I've bought 1 jeans like top. It is so cool. Cool like a man. I just realized that the top I bought was for male, not female. So, I rather dreamed about being a police instead of a teacher. Ok. But I'm still satisfied with it, although it is too big size for me, but I don't care, I love it. I planned to wear it with, don't know what and I considered myself, very CREATIVE. Ok, got it? Then, I don't care. And don't care. 

Different people have different dreams.

Different people may have the same face.

With love,

Elisa Jean XOXO

Real MAN

Seriously, this is a post written by me. I'm sure some of you, or non of you ( because I don't even know who is reading my blog!) will be curious about the reason I wrote this post.

Today is 3rd of November 2013. Two months after this is a new year. Resolution again? OK. I've been resoluteING since don't know when and I keep on telling myself to change. So, what to do if there is no actions but words? Actions speak louder than words. So, do it and pray to God that we're willing to let Him lead us to the way of eternal.

Through out this year in school, I feel like I was bullied. BULLIED. That's right. This bullying cases weren't due to anyone who are really bad, but self- centered. I was bullied because I was self- centered. See, one hand can't make a clap but two hands do! If I wasn't self- centered, I would not be bullied.

You might ask how did I be bullied. I would like to tell you I wasted my time because someone promise me something. The something aren't really what I meant. You know. Sometimes, people play words and if you can't get the meaning, you gotta leave the game and do another thing instead.

Co- curriculum. The biggest enemy in the world of my school days. This word let me understand people are self- centered and they use you to let them get higher pose and tell me that they are willing to help me to get something. I didn't really enjoy having team work because I've no trust in anyone. How can a team be like this? No. No way.

This year I've joined KRS, Chinese Society, Kelab Pencinta Alam and Blue House. These activities made me crazy and half death. See how two words' strength can change your life. I mean maybe I'm too self- centered and because of this, I can't do many things. Or you can either say that I'm low- self esteem. But, I'm changing.

If you are not a real man, you act. You think your whole life is a drama, you act and maybe people around you also act, because you think everyone is like you. You live in a world that is all about lies and dangerous things. That's so not cool! OK.

Do not hide anything. Hiding meaning that you don't trust someone. This shows how you don't want to let people know your feeling and people will show no love in you. That is how world goes. So, don't hide, tell the truth to people and let people help you. You must trust people although there are people who always tell lies but why don't you think another way round? You can start thinking about influencing people who always tell lies. By showing your trust on people, people will feel your love and they will start loving you.

Today, I wanna quote 2 verses from the Bible.
Romans 12: 1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to pattern of this world, but be transformed by renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

 These verses are about sacrificing. We human, we man, we must sacrifice our bodies as in serving and obeying God's words. As you see, if you obey God's words, you will no longer giving in to this world, but you know what God's great plan and therefore, you can lead the world into a world of God, with the strength given by God. That is how great God is. By using every stupid one of us including me. This shows how precious we are and we can't be substituted. So, if I've obeyed His words, I would been thinking about the marks I wanna get in co- curriculum. Then, I would not suffer from these sadness and bitterness.

These are all I wanna share about. Next year, or maybe now, my first thing I wanna go for is that let God's plan be on my life and I obey what He said and what He wants me to be. Thanks God for letting me have time to write this post and thank you for reading this post. I hope you have a thought same as mine. Let us love people around us.

Elisa Jean XXO

Love the people around you. Start loving them now! 

Congratulation

Hi everyone! I don't know who you are, maybe you know who I am. OKAY. I am feeling happy right now! This is how I feel. Like a bird flying up high beneath the wind, and fur is blew by the wind. Such a good feeling! Do you know why? My exam is over! That is why I'm feeling so happy and please! 

Throughout the year, I've learnt a lot. How to love people, how to care people, how to do addmaths. That is what I've learnt. And the most important thing is that God's words always heal the hurt in my heart. That's why...

This week is an important week. My sister is having her graduation day this week. I'm so happy with her! She is such a good student, I suppose? Haha. Ok. I don't know that, but she is really a good sister! 

Here are the memories with her!

This was when my oldest sister having her graduation day. I'm feeling a bit sad right now, because my oldest sister wasn't in this photo! 

Was in Melacca. I think this hairstyle is the best hairstyle for my sister! And this was her first time going there! We didn't do any much activities there, but we enjoyed our family time!

2012 new year at my auntie house in Bintulu! WOH! Such a nice day.

2012 August, at Singapore. This was a nice experience and this was the first visit of my sister in Singapore. My twin sister, my sister and I were sharing one cendol ( in Singapore, but still wanted to eat Malaysia popular cuisine =.='')

2012 visit to Taiwan. This was a great experience too! We were in airplane and my oldest sister was boarding on airplane fight from KK. 

Before 2013 Chinese New Year dinner. The food.. I can't remember!

Elisa on the left, Emily on the right. This was taken by my sister! 

Haha! The main character of my blog post! 

Maybe there is sadness and happiness. We are still in the love that God has given to everyone.

Love your life and may God rule the world. Let His plan be on the land as well as in the heaven.

Love everyone before it is too late.

Elisa Jean X

Open

This is a serious problem. I ain't sure how to cure it. You know. The tradition. I've been spending much of my time talking about this. Show my objections and show protesting to my parents and my family members.

I ain't sure about what I've been doing. I ain't sure about whether I should follow the tradition or not. Well.the tradition I'm saying about is that the asian rules. Yea. I consider that asian rules. Example, boys are always stronger than the girls, or every child has to be a doctor of an engineer. Yea. That is what I've been talking about. These rules are terrible things, for me. 

I often tell my parents and my sister that some Asians are too rigid in everything. I say I want to change this condition on by changing myself not to be like them. I say some of the tradition rigid the life of people. I say there isn't any proof about how weak a girl can be than a boy. No! Then, my parents say most of the girl can't lift heavy things. I say that don't show how weak a girl can be. They say it is the proof that girls are weaker that the boys. 

My dream, is to go out of this rigid asian culture/ tradition. Something that I can't accept in my life, the stupid tradition. I can't. 

However, something like something like kissing or hugging the other gender, are also what I can't accept. You know, kissing people you don't know. That is disgusting, I think. Shake hands for me is OK. But then, having hand to hand is like ' WHAT? '.  I can't accept things like that. So, is that called rigid myself with the tradition?

I don't know. Maybe I am too young to know what is the truth. But God knows. Let he guide me rather than I guide myself.

Elisa Jean O

The Environment

It's been long time ago since I updated my blog. Today is a great day! I was woken up by my alarm in iPad. I'd my breakfast at 5:15 a.m. My breakfast was simply but enough. Then, I started studying my Physics. This is how simply my life is.

Last few weeks I've been going to CF morning prayer meeting. I can still remember the day I started participating the prayer meeting. 2nd of September. How special the day was. The story is like this. My class would be having patriotic song singing that morning. Jen Yee, my funny and cute friend, was holding the CD that had the song. So, my monitor/ my friend was about to search for her. I knew Jen Yee was at the prayer meeting, so I volunteered myself to go there and find her. I was accompanied by Emily, my sister. When we arrived there, I saw a lot of them sitting there and having talks together. But I couldn't see my friend. Then, Bernice asked me, " are you coming for the prayer meeting? " I was not able to answer this question immediately, because my aim there  was to search for my friend. But the way Bernice looked like was like very hopeful and CUTE. So, I said yes. My sister looked at me, I wasn't being a stupid or liar. I just wanted to attend. About my friend, I think she lastly met monitor and gave her the CD. I was so happy that I could join this prayer meeting every school day morning. Here, I met a lot of friends ( although I'm always the quietest there ). Then, I continue participating the prayer meeting.

I thought there was no one with me. Because the people whom I met were all have their "aims" to do something. It was sort of scary for me. But in CF, I can still see the only piece of things that wasn't polluted. 

Interacting with some of my classmates have already been a really scary thing for me. I don't know why. Looking at them, I sense and know how to world and the people are polluted by the evil and the desire. This is so sad. They fight for what they want. Maybe "fight" wasn't the right word, but "snatch" would be the correct one. This is the observation of the world of mine. 

The world is so polluted. The pollution was not just stared, but have been started since the sin was here, in the world. This was not scary anymore if you have the faith in God. The world may be complicated, but you, your mind can still be as simple as how God loves us. ( God's love isn't simple but man can't full understand)

Here is the Bible quote that inspired me and now I can still live here and happily enjoy my simple breakfast and study my Physics. 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress

and 

to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

 (James 1:27)

May God's plan be what He wants to be on you, me, them, he, she and the whole world. The glory is his.

With sincere love,

Elisa Jean.

Faith

Bello! ( addicted to minions :O )
So happy to get to write a post here! Recently, no, not recently is it has been a long time I want to find out what is the use of me. ME! Yes. I thought back about what I'd done for the past few years. If you are my friend, definitely you find a different Elisa. I have become very easy to be angry, like to boss around, talk back about people, judge people, tell lies, proud of what I have and low- self esteem.

These few characters that I have (or no longer have), has made me become mad and sad all the time. I ask myself, why am I so useless? I can't do anything (couldn't). I still haven't found what is my ability, talent.

Believe or not, I jealous everyone around me. This unwanted "hobby" I have to change. This jealousy leads to many problems. I can't count them because there are more than 100 to be counted. Why jealous? Because comparison. I always compare myself with you. Yes, you. I just don't know why I always compare myself with you. That must be Satan who let me become like this.

Being a human that created by God, I ain't really do what He wants me to do. I am sure about what he wants me to do, but I hasn't done the work. That is sad. I tell you jealousy can make a person become mad, stupid, silly and unfaithful with God.

Through who we have gained access by faith into this grace in which now we stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
( Romans 5: 2- 5)

Through reading, I realize the world is all about God's love. He gives us everything, he gives us the chance to choose what we want to be. But I've chosen something that is no pleased Him. I'd made facebook, instagram, twitter, as my God. This media makes me feel that I'm very fat, I'm unwanted in this world, I'm stupid, no body loves me, no one cares about me. Yes, there may be no one cares me, but indeed, God loves me. He doesn't disappoint me, but what I'm going through is actually what he wants me to experience. What I'm going through is how he wants to train me become a successful person. This successful doesn't mean that I've money or best result in the world. However, he gives me the faith that believe Him.

Thanks God I know I have to learn from His son, Jesus.
That's why I'm here.

XOXOXO
Elisa Jean

p,s: The tenses I use may be very confusing because God is a God that is not under the control of time. And, my grammar itself is very bad. Sentence structure may not be correct because my English is not as pro as yours. :D

Responsibility.

There are more and less to talk about this. I have been suffering of doing works. This is why I am choosing this topic to write about. This maybe one of the utmost important things that every single little human has to learn and do.

Let's go on. About responsibility, I have most of the feelings of it. As I have told you, I've taken many activities and sometimes I enjoy them very much but sometimes, I ain't very please with the work. As usual, I'll always let my stress go by scolding people and do something bad when people do that to me. That's really unwanted. I feel helpless.

Let's learn from God, how does he be very responsible. He created every single people by himself and he manged to plan every person's life. He doesn't and never forget to plan or give anyone their purpose of living. This is how he does his things all well done and good and shows his responsibility. Also, he sent his son, Jesus to save everyone away from sin and sinful life. He even knows how many hairs you have and I have.

Reflects to me, I have being lazy almost all the time and always do last minute work. This unwanted character should be changed. I'm so lazy. But I still know there is God who can always help me and listen to me and tell me what I should do.

xxx Elisa Jean xxx

p.s The blog title changed to Share the Love and Joy. Because share the love and joy is really important as a responsibility of one of God's child. :D

Lost at World

Hi guys!
This lazy me is posting something again! Well, first of all, I just want to express how I feel right now. I'm remorseful and sad and yeah a bit thankful. Every emotion is like coming towards me. The haze that has been surrounding my house is terrible. My eyes are sweating and so my throat can't function well. Everything is like almost haven't done and yet I'm still here, in front of the computer typing this post. Well, I just want to escape from the books and works. They are so tiring. I enjoy doing them but I'm somehow, can't concentrate in one. It is like when I'm doing one of the works, I'll think about the others that I've not done. Quite TERRIBLE, right?

I feel like I can't cope for them. Everything I do is going to be the worst among the others who are same as me, doing the same things. I call this lost at world. It is like I'm sailing a boat at sea and at the same time, I've to get food in my own way. Moreover, I've to count the days that I've been at the sea and how to make purified water. Yea. It is like that and my feeling is like that. Additional, I've to care the one who stays in the small boat I have been sailing. Things are like that now in my part of life. They crash together in your head but at the end there isn't any result. Then, you'll feel like asking WHAT? WHY? HOW? The WH questions.

I'm a christian. Yet, I haven't done enough or you can say I didn't do anything. Sad, right? I've just decided to read Bible and yet I only memerised 1 sentence a day! OK that is just a start!

We are multitaskers, we have to do our best in every part. Let us RUN TOWARDS THE AIM THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US!

XXX Elisa Jean XXX

KEEP CALM

Recently, I have been busily doing my work. They are all projects, co-curriculum and so on. You may say I am not as busy as you, but I tell you the work are quite tiring. I have felt the tiredness and just couldn't overcome, and yet, I spent almost others time sleeping and thinking while staring. They are TASKS for me.

The work have due dates. Everything must rush and I have to do them very well in order to carry on to the next stage. Well, getting co-curriculum's marks is not the main purpose I participate in these activities, I just want to try and get busy. This main be the main objective. I just want to occupy my time in order to train myself so that I can go for work in my uni life.

DUE DATE. They often pressure me doing them. The work, they are like if they are saying HI to me. And yet, I respond them in an unfriendly HI. You get what I mean?

Last Friday, I was collecting photos money. This is one of my work and I'm still under probation for this. So, the due date was that day. And collecting money from teachers is not an easy job I tell you. Once of the time I rushed and fell down from the stairs while I was going up the stairs. Now, my knees has a big red black patch.

Now, I'm designing badges, and I feel like the design will be KEEP CALM AND PLANT IT. They are so pretty and I've used a KEEP CALM website to do this. Suddenly, I just realised that I've been rushing for everything. Eating, drinking, jogging, playing, reading, studying, doing work and more and more. KEEP CALM is the word to tell me I've been rushing for all the work but not the work God wants me to do. ( Shameful )

John 8:31- 32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Yes, I just realised that I've been in a tough time that the work are my boss and I have been working for them. Oh God, thanks for giving me strength but yet I'm naughty that I didn't do your work. Thanks letting me here to think about what you've taught me trough Bible. Thanks for letting my father and mother giving me eyes and small brains to see and observe about the surroundings. Thanks for everything you give me.

Here is my result of BADGES

KEEP CALM AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE. :)

XXX Elisa Jean XXX

Common Thing That You Won't Realise

OH! I haven't been renewed post for a long time. You may ask me why. I'll tell you that it is because I've been busily doing my work. Today may be the only time to renew.

I was struggling about many things I've got. People like me are not thanksgiving. I've always thought that I'm lonely and there is no love in my life. That is why I've been crying for a long time. Days by days and now, I just realise people around me are important and they've always given me supports and loves like what God has given to me.

The latest post of Emily and I

When we went to church camp...

We posted this because... for FUN! 

God actually provides everything I want. 

Because He guides and loves me everyday. 

That's why, my family still love me so much.

And always give supports to me.

With love, Elisa Jean.

Art

It is the month March. Still, I often get abb amassed when I'm talking to anyone in English. I know this is the big problem, so I hope I can overcome this obstacle as soon as possible. I like others care for me but I don't have the bravery to communicate with anyone. I feel bad, when I see the others are happily talking. I scared to be rejected by others. Really! I think I'm such a large dump in anywhere. Without talking to the others, I really don't know where I can express myself. I'm not selfish nor proud that I don't want to talk to you, is that I really have bravery to talk to you.

I like drawing. I draw when I'm upset, and stressed. 

Running towards.

I love jogging, running, jumping and lots of exercise. I am not as expert as those who run for competition. I'm just the one who LIKE.

I've found that I'm actually run only during the time I planned for myself for jogging. In other times, I refuse to run. In the other words, I am lazy. Lazy studying, reading and interacting.

I'm so upset of myself. Really! I've lots of negative characteristics. Jealousy, pride and all the others, have been accompanied with me for many years. I hope I can change those attitude.

With God's words, we can only be witness. Without his words, we are ugly and dirty. Dear lord, help me and carry me out of the darkness.

My New Year Resolutions

2012... 2013. I tore the the last page of the 2012 calender then threw it into the rubbish bin. The first day of the year is a remembering day. And this reminded me what I've done during the past few years. Yet, I felt remorseful of what I have done.

Thinking what I've done during the pass few years, I found that I've been so timid as I couldn't even speak to anyone despite my close friends. It was because I've always thought that I was a low class people. So, when I spoke to the others, my eyes would probably escape  from their eyes vision field. What I have decided to be done in this year is to be more sociable.

Being a mandarin speaking student, I couldn't manage to  the opportunity to talk to the english speaking students. It was not because I couldn't speak english, was because I felt afraid and embarrassed while talking to anyone in english. This was getting more serious as I found that i couldn't even speak to anyone in english. I was very concerned about this serious problem and always wanted to cure this " sickness". Therefore, I have decided to talk every friend and classmate in english. For me, this is quite a challenging work. So, I have to achieve it slowly. Hopefully, this task can be completed before i leave my secondary school.

Yes, the english subject is a really big problem for me. In the past few years, my English subject's result was always annoying me as it has been always getting a grade C. So, every time when my English teacher gave me essay as a homework, I would get extremely frustrated. I couldn't even want to do the essay as my grammar was really weird and I often scared that too many grammar errors as well as the errors of sentence structures. Of course, because of the errors, I got scolded by my teacher. This year, I must achieve a better grade for this subject as I will read more english books and ask teacher and friends whenever I have any problem.

Completing my new year resolutions is not an easy task for me. For me, what I really demand is God can give me the strength and a persisting mind for me to cope for it. And I hope these tasks will be ticked in the end of the year.