Faith

Bello! ( addicted to minions :O )
So happy to get to write a post here! Recently, no, not recently is it has been a long time I want to find out what is the use of me. ME! Yes. I thought back about what I'd done for the past few years. If you are my friend, definitely you find a different Elisa. I have become very easy to be angry, like to boss around, talk back about people, judge people, tell lies, proud of what I have and low- self esteem.

These few characters that I have (or no longer have), has made me become mad and sad all the time. I ask myself, why am I so useless? I can't do anything (couldn't). I still haven't found what is my ability, talent.

Believe or not, I jealous everyone around me. This unwanted "hobby" I have to change. This jealousy leads to many problems. I can't count them because there are more than 100 to be counted. Why jealous? Because comparison. I always compare myself with you. Yes, you. I just don't know why I always compare myself with you. That must be Satan who let me become like this.

Being a human that created by God, I ain't really do what He wants me to do. I am sure about what he wants me to do, but I hasn't done the work. That is sad. I tell you jealousy can make a person become mad, stupid, silly and unfaithful with God.

Through who we have gained access by faith into this grace in which now we stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
( Romans 5: 2- 5)

Through reading, I realize the world is all about God's love. He gives us everything, he gives us the chance to choose what we want to be. But I've chosen something that is no pleased Him. I'd made facebook, instagram, twitter, as my God. This media makes me feel that I'm very fat, I'm unwanted in this world, I'm stupid, no body loves me, no one cares about me. Yes, there may be no one cares me, but indeed, God loves me. He doesn't disappoint me, but what I'm going through is actually what he wants me to experience. What I'm going through is how he wants to train me become a successful person. This successful doesn't mean that I've money or best result in the world. However, he gives me the faith that believe Him.

Thanks God I know I have to learn from His son, Jesus.
That's why I'm here.

XOXOXO
Elisa Jean

p,s: The tenses I use may be very confusing because God is a God that is not under the control of time. And, my grammar itself is very bad. Sentence structure may not be correct because my English is not as pro as yours. :D

Responsibility.

There are more and less to talk about this. I have been suffering of doing works. This is why I am choosing this topic to write about. This maybe one of the utmost important things that every single little human has to learn and do.

Let's go on. About responsibility, I have most of the feelings of it. As I have told you, I've taken many activities and sometimes I enjoy them very much but sometimes, I ain't very please with the work. As usual, I'll always let my stress go by scolding people and do something bad when people do that to me. That's really unwanted. I feel helpless.

Let's learn from God, how does he be very responsible. He created every single people by himself and he manged to plan every person's life. He doesn't and never forget to plan or give anyone their purpose of living. This is how he does his things all well done and good and shows his responsibility. Also, he sent his son, Jesus to save everyone away from sin and sinful life. He even knows how many hairs you have and I have.

Reflects to me, I have being lazy almost all the time and always do last minute work. This unwanted character should be changed. I'm so lazy. But I still know there is God who can always help me and listen to me and tell me what I should do.

xxx Elisa Jean xxx

p.s The blog title changed to Share the Love and Joy. Because share the love and joy is really important as a responsibility of one of God's child. :D

Lost at World

Hi guys!
This lazy me is posting something again! Well, first of all, I just want to express how I feel right now. I'm remorseful and sad and yeah a bit thankful. Every emotion is like coming towards me. The haze that has been surrounding my house is terrible. My eyes are sweating and so my throat can't function well. Everything is like almost haven't done and yet I'm still here, in front of the computer typing this post. Well, I just want to escape from the books and works. They are so tiring. I enjoy doing them but I'm somehow, can't concentrate in one. It is like when I'm doing one of the works, I'll think about the others that I've not done. Quite TERRIBLE, right?

I feel like I can't cope for them. Everything I do is going to be the worst among the others who are same as me, doing the same things. I call this lost at world. It is like I'm sailing a boat at sea and at the same time, I've to get food in my own way. Moreover, I've to count the days that I've been at the sea and how to make purified water. Yea. It is like that and my feeling is like that. Additional, I've to care the one who stays in the small boat I have been sailing. Things are like that now in my part of life. They crash together in your head but at the end there isn't any result. Then, you'll feel like asking WHAT? WHY? HOW? The WH questions.

I'm a christian. Yet, I haven't done enough or you can say I didn't do anything. Sad, right? I've just decided to read Bible and yet I only memerised 1 sentence a day! OK that is just a start!

We are multitaskers, we have to do our best in every part. Let us RUN TOWARDS THE AIM THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US!

XXX Elisa Jean XXX

KEEP CALM

Recently, I have been busily doing my work. They are all projects, co-curriculum and so on. You may say I am not as busy as you, but I tell you the work are quite tiring. I have felt the tiredness and just couldn't overcome, and yet, I spent almost others time sleeping and thinking while staring. They are TASKS for me.

The work have due dates. Everything must rush and I have to do them very well in order to carry on to the next stage. Well, getting co-curriculum's marks is not the main purpose I participate in these activities, I just want to try and get busy. This main be the main objective. I just want to occupy my time in order to train myself so that I can go for work in my uni life.

DUE DATE. They often pressure me doing them. The work, they are like if they are saying HI to me. And yet, I respond them in an unfriendly HI. You get what I mean?

Last Friday, I was collecting photos money. This is one of my work and I'm still under probation for this. So, the due date was that day. And collecting money from teachers is not an easy job I tell you. Once of the time I rushed and fell down from the stairs while I was going up the stairs. Now, my knees has a big red black patch.

Now, I'm designing badges, and I feel like the design will be KEEP CALM AND PLANT IT. They are so pretty and I've used a KEEP CALM website to do this. Suddenly, I just realised that I've been rushing for everything. Eating, drinking, jogging, playing, reading, studying, doing work and more and more. KEEP CALM is the word to tell me I've been rushing for all the work but not the work God wants me to do. ( Shameful )

John 8:31- 32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Yes, I just realised that I've been in a tough time that the work are my boss and I have been working for them. Oh God, thanks for giving me strength but yet I'm naughty that I didn't do your work. Thanks letting me here to think about what you've taught me trough Bible. Thanks for letting my father and mother giving me eyes and small brains to see and observe about the surroundings. Thanks for everything you give me.

Here is my result of BADGES

KEEP CALM AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE. :)

XXX Elisa Jean XXX

Common Thing That You Won't Realise

OH! I haven't been renewed post for a long time. You may ask me why. I'll tell you that it is because I've been busily doing my work. Today may be the only time to renew.

I was struggling about many things I've got. People like me are not thanksgiving. I've always thought that I'm lonely and there is no love in my life. That is why I've been crying for a long time. Days by days and now, I just realise people around me are important and they've always given me supports and loves like what God has given to me.

The latest post of Emily and I

When we went to church camp...

We posted this because... for FUN! 

God actually provides everything I want. 

Because He guides and loves me everyday. 

That's why, my family still love me so much.

And always give supports to me.

With love, Elisa Jean.

Art

It is the month March. Still, I often get abb amassed when I'm talking to anyone in English. I know this is the big problem, so I hope I can overcome this obstacle as soon as possible. I like others care for me but I don't have the bravery to communicate with anyone. I feel bad, when I see the others are happily talking. I scared to be rejected by others. Really! I think I'm such a large dump in anywhere. Without talking to the others, I really don't know where I can express myself. I'm not selfish nor proud that I don't want to talk to you, is that I really have bravery to talk to you.

I like drawing. I draw when I'm upset, and stressed. 

Running towards.

I love jogging, running, jumping and lots of exercise. I am not as expert as those who run for competition. I'm just the one who LIKE.

I've found that I'm actually run only during the time I planned for myself for jogging. In other times, I refuse to run. In the other words, I am lazy. Lazy studying, reading and interacting.

I'm so upset of myself. Really! I've lots of negative characteristics. Jealousy, pride and all the others, have been accompanied with me for many years. I hope I can change those attitude.

With God's words, we can only be witness. Without his words, we are ugly and dirty. Dear lord, help me and carry me out of the darkness.

My New Year Resolutions

2012... 2013. I tore the the last page of the 2012 calender then threw it into the rubbish bin. The first day of the year is a remembering day. And this reminded me what I've done during the past few years. Yet, I felt remorseful of what I have done.

Thinking what I've done during the pass few years, I found that I've been so timid as I couldn't even speak to anyone despite my close friends. It was because I've always thought that I was a low class people. So, when I spoke to the others, my eyes would probably escape  from their eyes vision field. What I have decided to be done in this year is to be more sociable.

Being a mandarin speaking student, I couldn't manage to  the opportunity to talk to the english speaking students. It was not because I couldn't speak english, was because I felt afraid and embarrassed while talking to anyone in english. This was getting more serious as I found that i couldn't even speak to anyone in english. I was very concerned about this serious problem and always wanted to cure this " sickness". Therefore, I have decided to talk every friend and classmate in english. For me, this is quite a challenging work. So, I have to achieve it slowly. Hopefully, this task can be completed before i leave my secondary school.

Yes, the english subject is a really big problem for me. In the past few years, my English subject's result was always annoying me as it has been always getting a grade C. So, every time when my English teacher gave me essay as a homework, I would get extremely frustrated. I couldn't even want to do the essay as my grammar was really weird and I often scared that too many grammar errors as well as the errors of sentence structures. Of course, because of the errors, I got scolded by my teacher. This year, I must achieve a better grade for this subject as I will read more english books and ask teacher and friends whenever I have any problem.

Completing my new year resolutions is not an easy task for me. For me, what I really demand is God can give me the strength and a persisting mind for me to cope for it. And I hope these tasks will be ticked in the end of the year.

Think before you do.

The days and the years are almost gone every second and minute. I'm still the one, the little one, I thought. Maybe that was something that would not change. Everything is changing, and maybe I have also changed. The childlike and the childish, maybe I'm the one who still has. I hate becoming old and ready to think. I always tell myself, not to be childish, but be COOL. You get what I mean?

Yeah. Childish, childish and childish. That is what I get from the others. Maybe you agree with them or you agree with me, probably, I agree I'm childish. I don't think I am childish because I think me myself is a child. Yeah, I know that is weird enough for you to laugh at me.

I'm sure there is someone who hates me and dislikes me. However, I can tell you, I don't mind them. Really, I do mind. I mind how people look me and how they hate me. I don't know why I've this awkward feeling and thinking. Ughh.. How can I stop thinking of those things?

Being a christian, I need to obey what God says. But what God says are really difficult to complete. You may want to advise me not to follow what God says, but I can tell you, with God, everything can happen. Every moment you are safe and you are happy with joys. Yea.. I should follow what God says and always being the happy ones. But not feeling bad with what I've done, because God tells me think before you do.

Yea..

Real and Unreal

Hi everyone.
Today, I'll share something about real and unreal. It's a nice topic and I've thought a lot of things to write in this share.

Real and Unreal.
What do you think about real? Real is a thing that is actually FACT ed. Like I'm a girl or I've 5 fingers on my left hand. So, what about unreal? That is of course, something that does not been confirmed. Just like me, I am stupid, but maybe that is not really I'm stupid.

To share about God's words, we need a Bible. Without Bible, actually we are talking crabs. A person like me, I seldom read Bible ( I felt very guilty about it ). Therefore, maybe I can't really talk or discuss about God's heaven and all the goods of Him and all the real stories in the Bible.

I would like to say sorry that my laziness and my forgetful always let me abandon the important of reading God's words. For me, it is not enough that we just read the bible without knowing what is it talking about or what is God trying to tell us. I am strength less to be determined to Everyday Bible Reader. However, I'm trying to. Let God helps me. Amen.

Yes, Bible. Anyone here is a Buddhist? Or any other religious? If yes, let me ask you a question, do you think your religion is real? Yes or No? Secondly, do you know why are you worshipping your God? Another question, is your God is a real God?

Let you think about it.
Next passage I'll write about something that are really interesting to share it them with you.
Perhaps, I will read a chapter of the Bible and knowing what God is telling me.  

I didn't do

Hi there! I am here super hyper and super energetic. Yea! The month November is quite a nice month for me. And I have a lot of work to do within this and next month. Every of you must have gone to somewhere for travelling or visiting or maybe shopping. Well, I'm the one who still stay at home and reading the novels. I am quite sure that my English language has improved due to my hard work of reading. (Y)

Before the holidays started, I had planned for me myself a lot of things to complete. There is one I did, no, I can't say I did, but I haven't finished. That is reading the bible. I am quite lazy with it. Reading a absolubely thick bible is a very tough job. Some more, I am trying to read the English's version. Yea, you know that is to improve my English language. Both me and Emily has the same problem. Urgh. That is really weird and terrible.

Communicate with others is what I haven't done. Talking with the others by using English language. You know how odd is it? I am really ashamed with it. >.<
First of all, I have tried to speak English with my tuition teacher. She is quite patient to hear my BROKEN ENGLISH with lots of Chinese accent.

I will end with here. Lets pray to the Lord and ask Him how can I due with this problem.

November

Hi guys!
I am so happy that b'cause it is the month November!
Last month, I was a bit busy with my studies. Because they were too annoyed. Yea, annoyed.

The exams were quite scary and I was too nervous. Till the world was going to the end. Yea. My english paper was terrible. I can't even imagine it after the exam. So nervous.

Well, I have now been forgetting it. With much of happiness and careless, I've been totally enjoying my holidays with books, tv programmes, drawing, caligrafING, playing with my sister and brother. And of course, playing piano. I am awfully presenting it in front of the piano teacher. I thought she got a big shock! I was like, " Is it OK? Or I need to play it again?". Yea. It was TERRIBLE. So, lastly the teacher said I could play Grade 2. Yea, theory is Grade 2. However, my piano's skill is LEVEL 2. I felt bad with that. Urgh.

Here are my drawings. I drew some cards and I was not willing to present anyone, because I found that they are too amazing and awfully well presented.

Cheese :D 

This is something like post card. 

The theme Christmas Day. 

I drew this because I am so excited with this year's Christmas Day!

Yea! I like this piece :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Hehe, I'm so happy although today is not my birthday :O

Ribbon.

This is not the hottest one, but the coldest one.

Nobody like it.

But I like.

The sample for all of the arts. 

This is the one I've used a lot of effort to think, draw and decorate.

So, this might be the most perfect one.

Yea. They are quite nice. If you wish I could draw you a piece, why don't you comment. And maybe, I will be willing to deal with it.
Thank God that you have given me this talent ( although you may not agree with me that this is a talent ).

继续

各位觉得很意外吧！书写华语绝对不是我的强项，但为了进步我的华语程度，我坚持要写华语文章。

身为一个华人，我们是不是应该把持着自己的语言，华语呢？这对我来说不重要，因为人有自己的选择权，我们不必要帮别人选或逼他们选。常常我们都会因为守旧而忽略了一些重要的事。那我就是其中的一个。守旧也就是指说一个人一直把守着以前的观念而不愿意去改变。往往有很多事情我们都阻止不了自己在做一件事情的时候守住旧的思想及概念。

身为一个不厉害读书的孩子，我也时常守旧。常常认为男比女更好。我也常常埋怨上帝为什么把我成为一个女的。但是往往我都想起我的出现是上帝安排的。想到这里，我就无法在埋怨下去了。

人生无法重新再来。后在当下的我们应该好好地把握时间及时机，好让我们还没有完成的事情继续及不反悔的做下去。

别忘了上帝一直在看顾你。

The things that I don't care.

I am very happy as PMR exam is over. Therefore, I tell myself that the next BIG exam will be SPM. I know that is tiring when you say it during a free day. In my state, the most important thing is to be hard working! Once I told myself to relax, my mind will relax although I have stopped it for long time ago.

Last two days was my brother, Eric's birthday. We had such a big cake to eat which was really nice and awesome. We didn't celebrate the birthday too big as my two sisters were not here with us. Lets talk about my brother.

Eric is 10- year- old. He is tall, I think. However my relatives say he is short. In my state, I think he'll probably grown taller than me, so I assume that he is very tall. As a boy, he didn't talk so much. This lead me a big problem. That is I don't know what he is thinking about. This is quite frustrated. Everything he will just keep it in his mind and don't share with us. 

I didn't care him too much maybe because I think he is such a BURDEN?? Being a daughter, I can't forget to study. But being a sister, neither I teach him nor guide him. Once the exam is coming nearer and nearer, I forget who I am but remember what the book is talking about. 

I scolded him a lot in the past few years. But within this two years, I refused to talk to him as I scared any bad things will happen to me. In the past, when every time I scolded him, he would  break into tears and shut  the door then lock himself in the room. I scold him because I couldn't stand on his laziness with his homework and his project! The last minute work isn't the best. He always did his project the day before the due date. Being a sister, I scolded him every time. When I scolded him, I would be scolded by my sisters. They would say I shout too loud or I false Eric to do his project. 

Because of not getting BOMS from my sisters, now I refuse to teach him. For instance, my mind want to teach him but suddenly there is a thought tells me that my exam is more important. However, sometimes I also think that my mum cares more about him and doesn't care about me. Here is a real example. The week before my PMR exam started, my mum kept telling me to teach him Bahasa Melayu. This burdened me a lot.  I was quite hot temper as I didn't listen at all. The more important exam was what I had but not his!

Yet, I found that he was really a good kid when I commanded him to help me take this and that. Am I funny?

Haha. I just want to laugh at myself as I being so funny.

Sometimes you don't care. Sometimes you really care. That is because your mind is not clear. 

God prepared the road for me to go and there must be something different with the others. HE wants us to follow what he has prepared so I accept what he has given.

Lets pray to the Lord that we have a happy family!

Broken English

This post is just a random post! I write this post because I've been irritated by the English language. I admit that my brain has been too late to respond others' words in English! What a sad case!

Back to my tittle. Broken English is the common mistake that most of the Malaysian have made. I am one of them too! Therefore, I've been correcting  myself all the time. However I can't correct the grammar or sentence structure that I had spoken. That is terrible.

To stay away from broken English, the main key to help it is speak to those whose mother tongue is English language. But! I am the one who is embarrassed to talk to others in English! That's quite bad, I know. Being a friend who sit behind my to "English" 's friends didn't take a proper sentence with them in English before. I know I should try but the only problem is I SCARED. I SCARED THEY LAUGHED AT ME. I SCARED MY PRONOUN IS WRONG. I SCARED EVERYTHING.

English, you make me feel proud.
English, you make me feel embarrassed.
English, why the whole world needs you?

Take a break

The school holiday is not long enough for me to take a rest. Reading books, watching television programmes, playing iPod are common things that I do throughout the whole holiday. Shopping with my siblings was really enjoyable programme during this one week holiday. I was not tired at all, but joy to spend time with my family members, because they are coooool. Haha. Anyway, I also spent time to study. I love study! PMR is just around the corner and I still sitting in front of this big computer! What a waste of time! I tell myself, never mind, because I should take a break!

I don't like writing as well as writing a blog post. It is because I need to force myself to write in English! I hate English, don't I tell you before? My English is really weird and you dare not to understand a simple sentence I wrote. Just weird! Ergh! The fear of talking English is really a weird feeling. I just hope that one day, people could just speak Mandarin! Don't you think it is better? Speaking or writing English, you need to be aware of the grammar you've written. If you made such a small mistake, you would probably been laughed  by others. Please ensure that speaking mandarin is better than English. Chinese is easy to understand and the sequence of word is not important as everyone will still understand what you're talking about. I wish there is a day when everyone in the world start speaking mandarin. What an amazing world it is!

Now, lets talk about the trip to Singapore a few day ago. It was terrible at first because the long queue in the traffic jam. My father got frustrated with it and started to say it was not a good day to go to Singapore. My mother then get a little bit of disappointment and told my  father the condition would turn.

After 5 hours, we arrived Singapore. It was really wonderful as I thought Singapore was an amazing place. But this upset me a lot. Singapore's atmosphere is really alike as Penang. While we were crossing the road to our destination - Econ Inns, I saw a lot of rubbish beside the road. This was really unbelievable. After we have arrived our INNS at China Town, we settled down everything and started finding restaurant to feed our biggy tummy.

We then crossed the road and I heard a lot of noise with Mandarin. Unexpectedly the accent was not Singaporean's, but the Chinese from China. Then, we got into a big restaurant which was not very high class. The very astonishing scene I saw then. I saw an European touching the BEER GIRL's body. ILLL! What  a world now is! After the dinner, I have been told by my sisters that they say the European touched the girl for 3 times. OMG! What is awful world now is!

Then the nest day, we went back home.

English

Hi there! Every time I write a post may cause me a lot of time to think what should I write and why I write. Every post is a train of my english sentence structure and grammar. I find that it is really hard to write an essay neither long nor short! English? What is the purpose to learn english? English is an international language, I can't escape to learn it! What a bad thing!

I am scared that one day the whole world is laughing at me because of my grammar wrong! That must be really bad. I have spent my time to study this language, trying the hardest and doing the best. I just want to improve my english. But everything wasn't going that way, I am still stop at the point, timid to speak a word of english.

So what is the steps should I take to improve my english? Any ideas? Hope there is one day I could speak and write well english!

WHY DO WE NEED COMMUNICATION?

Hello everyone!
Don't you think I'm crazy? Maybe, you should say I have mad before I have borned!
I must say it now --- I apologize of my english grammar and the sentence strucure that I've writen before and after!

Exam is coming!!! Exam is coming!!!
That's all in my mind! I feel to tired and I get stressed!
" What do you suspose a 5A's ( UPSR) student to get all A's in PMR?"
I am going to do that! For my own good, and my parent's FACE, so I've to do that!

As I said just now, my grammar is really weird! Or you can even say that my languageS are weak!
I can't acheive to get any A of them!

I hope English is not an international's language! I must be really pleased if that is real!
Well, I am now doing something that you might think I am wasting my time or, you can say I am  CHILDISH?
I read Reader Digest almost every night!! Checking the meaning with a big dictionary, playing the english words ( speak english with emily (the tall girl) ) everyday!

I HATE LANGUAGE!
I am asking these almost everyday--- Why do we need communication? Why do we need to learn English? Why my english is so weak? Why am I so stupid?

I must tell you why I asked the first question!
---------------------------------------------

WHY I ASKED " WHY DO WE NEED COMMUNICATION?"

I study in a place where full of my books. I talk to books and the books talk to me! I don't even have any time to talk to my calssmates! Every week day, I sit in my place. Emily sits beside me and she is full of words ( She is a BIG MOUTH). She talks to another's side friends everyday! I seldom talk in school or even at home! WHY DO WE NEED COMMUNICATION?


Haha..
Are you gonna to answer my question?
All the best! Hope you can answer my question!

Miss Pau

Emily Jean

She is happy, talkactive, playful, joyful and yes haha.

Mr. Pau

Eric Pau

He is my brother, yes, he is smart!