Every Man Makes a Different

Hi there! So, it's like one weeek time till SPM ( a big exam of Certificate of Malaysia Education ). I'm pretty excited about the coming life. I would probably love to do part time job during my pre- U time. But it is not right to think and dream about it now. So, I'll stop myself. I just finished having my Sunday School in church. It was a new teacher teaching us today. I'm a bit amazed with my Sunday School teachers intelligence and perspective. They are amazing and they rock! Cool thing about it is that we had a discussion about Christ as a helping stick. If you are wondering what was that I'm gonna tell you now. To me, Chirst is not a helping stick but He is like oxygen, supplying everything to me. If you ask me whether being a Christian is easy or not, I would like to say NO. It's not really easy. Because being a Christian is meant to live a life of Christian. Like I have to do what Christians supposed to do. I don't mean to day I'm forced to be one. I'm telling how good I'm as a Christian. We, Christians, always have been people goodie goodie stereotype. It's true that a Christian is meant to do good things, help people, being able to sacrifice for people and love everyone. We don't curse people, we never being taught to hate people. So, if you have that stereotype towards Christians, it's okay. So, we do have that stereotype towards ourselves. Don't ever think that I'm a goodie goodie. I mean yes, maybe you think I'm a badie badie or a goodie goodie. That's not important. One important thing is that WE ARE HUMAN WHO HAVE SINS. Cool thing about me is that I'm trying my best to love people around me. If you think a badie badie, tell me how bad I'm and I will correct myself. I wanna to change myself becoming a goodie goodie. Who doesn't like being a goodie goodie? Telling me your stereotype towards me is a good thing to me. I wish you can like maybe comment on this post. Or if you have any problems or difficulties, perhaps you can tell me about it, or maybe not too detail, so that I can pray for you. Thanks!

Relationships

I have this freaking thing in my nerves. I want to write something.

Well, I just read JianHao's blog. ( I'm sure you know who he is, he is the very famous Youtuber). I really admire the way those Youtubers. They have dreams. They work for their dreams. 

I often wonder why people have this bravery and also potential to do what they want. They see the dark side bright, they see the bright side hope. In return, they are famous and they have gained a lot of attention from people all around the world. 

I wonder how their parents teach them. The Youtubers are so brave and dare to dream. I start to think how their parents encourage them, or discourage them. Also, how they brought up their kids. I'm never a brave ones. And how my parents have brought me up.

Thinking of next year maybe gonna go overseas to study my pre-U. I'm quite excited about it. I'll be studying some subjects which I think are quite interesting. I love sociology. So taking Law as my degree is what I would want to do. You know, working for something you love to do is like the feeling of joy and good.

I just glanced through some fashion blogger look books. They are pretty nice. I can say, if you are a fashion blogger, you would probably have to be rich in money. And also full of bravery and self esteem. Without one if them, you can't really be a fashion blogger.

Well, I'm just being a bit nonsense here since the start of this post. Actually what I've seen, I probably think about it. You know, what you wear can definetely be a communication between you and yourself, you and others, and you and God. 

One reason of I don't persist my fashion dream as a fashion designer is that because fashion will be out one day, but the laws of God will never out. I hope you see my point. Seriously, I want you to understand. 

So, yea. Here is the end of my nonsense post.

Elisa

Super Life

Hi there! 

I'm super duper excited about college life. I know it is gonna be a tough time for me next year since I'm not mentally prepared. 

I'm as usual - doing revision, playing the guitar and piano and sleeping. I feel like I wanna use up all my time just study. But I fail to do so. 

Guess what? I've got a new phone few days ago. It's not a normal thing for people at.my age having a handphone, but it's a not normal thing for me to have one. I feel like, wow, I still don't know how to use a phone. 

I got this, Sony Xperia M2. I can tell.you, this phone is super cool. Like I can type things out and haha. Just normal handphone. Mine is white in colour, which I think is a perfect colour for a handphone. And the size is just nice! ( though it's still too big to be put in my pocket) 

Unlike others, I love changing my wallpaper. Because wallpaper is so cool. 

Today is a Sunday School Sunday in my church. Our youth group was presenting a dance. I wasn't in the dance, because of the fact that I couldn't attend the practice and the rehasal. It's the weirdest reason ever. Looking at my friends dancing on the stage, I feel like I'm not doing my job as one of the leader in the youth group. It was a weird feeling. 

Anyway, I really feel touched by the speech that was shared by one of the Sunday school teacher. As a Christian, I should always be the active one. Reflect on myself, I feel like I'm really passive in thinking and also actions. Her sharing was about BUILD. She shared unity. I feel like I never united with my friends. Oh why! 

I still have got many to learn. 

Here is a new song by Owl City which I love.

Thanks for reading.

And enjoy the song! 

Elisa 

12.10.14

SUNDAY

Seek Love

I have no idea what words can describe me now. I'm at a state when I love things around me and I hate myself but at the same time I love myself. They are mixed feelings.

I love looking around the people. I always think what they are thinking. It's like my hobby. I can't help it. I love thinking about why people would react things with such expression and also action. It's like he/she is the only person has the chance to experience this at this particular time, and he/she does whatever. That whatever makes me curious. And that's lovely.

I wonder God too! I once placed myself in his position. Though I know it's really like I didn't understand why he does this, but eventually, I just understood. Thanks God, it's good to write blog at the morning.

I've enconuterd people who seek for love. As if like the love they are seeking will disappear. They are like wolfs, seeking for the meats, the alive meats. Allow me to describe this sort of situation using this so-true description. They can't help falling in love. They can't help receiving no love. Does that what love really mean?

I don't have much love story (I'm talking about that love). But I read a love of love story ( not really, because to me, reading like 5 books of love stories considered a lot ). I read how people can't resist their desire. DESIRE.

Everyone has desires. That's true. You might be asking, hey Elisa, won't you have one?

Yes.

Sometimes desires are good, some aren't. The desires can make you feel energetic! At that time you feel like you'll love to follow your desire. But that's time when you loss your rational thinking.

Trust me, seek for God when your desire is calling you, and you don't know is it okay to follow it.

Elisa Jean
8/10/14
Morning
Wed

Bleed

Good evening? Or perhaps Good night! 

I've not been updating my blog for a long time. I wouldn't like saying it "updating", because it feels like I'm forced to do something. So, I've not been writing my blog for a long time.

People always ask me about what I miss about in Sarawak ( my hometown ). I often say my old friends and the beaches, sunsets, and the warmth of Foo Chow language. It's not too much if I say I miss the innocent of the people there. 

I miss the innocent me and the Bintulu, Sarawak people. Their thoughts of sharing love with their friends and the way they love the people around them are what I hardly find in here, Peninsular Malaysia. I miss it very much.

The way i help you because you are my friends, and vice versa. It's so nice. If the action of love of them is drawn in a picture, I'll never hesitate to buy that picture, looking at it every night, instead of writing a blog post. That's so nice! 

What do I love about the things here, Peninsular Malaysia?

The clothes shops here, the excess here and also the fast momentum here. You'll ask - Friends? I'll say, yes, maybe two or three. To be honest, I'm never a country person. I like the developed city but with greener looks. I would like to live in a city, but not a country.

I enjoy shopping the most in Peninsular Malaysia. Walking in and out the shops in the mall, checking price tags, struggling which one to buy, being tired of walking in the mall. Though I'm short of money, still I love walking in the mall and enjoying the smell of fashion and style. It's full of colours.

Recently I've too much uneasy decisions to make. 

For example: 

My classmates keep being absent in school. The revision exercise paper that teachers giving are like tons of them. Teachers, who are being helpful and high in expectation, expect us ( the ones who present ), help the absents to keep the paper and stuffs like that. I know being a friend of my classmates should be helpful. But it's really hard for me to do this everyday! Seriously, everyday! 

I'm not sure if I'm irresponsible. I feel so remorseful and feel like killing myself like that after has decided not to keep for them. At last, I keep(kept). 

It's like people taking advantages on me. I'm frustrated. I'm sure I shouldn't be frustrated. I can't help it.

The world is too old for me, and the world is bleeding.

Elisa Jean

11:50 p.m 

3/9/14

FRI