Just a Dream

It's cool to sit on the left side of my bed, typing out whatever I wanna to share through this blog. 

Maintaining a blog is not a difficult job, you just have to keep it updated and writing something catchy or perhaps, new and interesting. I wonder if my blog is a blog of which my readers never feel bored about it. I wish I'd lighten up your dim life, with my sharings through my words. 

I don't wanna make you feel like I wanna eat you, or maybe feel like I like praising myself. I don't praise myself, really! I mean all are from God, there is nothing to be glad about what I've achieved. Because I'm achieving them with God's power. 

You might wanna close the tab of my blog now, because you feel like I'm always talking about God. And you don't seem to have any interest on Him. I'll say, FINE. 

Cool things happened in school today. I read my history textbook, and felt a little pressured, because I didn't do well in my trials exams. I'm gonna work hard. Really! I want! God is helping me.

I'm really stressed out now, because I haven't done my very best in all. I mean yea, I'm with God, God is with me. There are still times when I feel strengthless, because I'm only a human. 

Planning what to do next year really freaks me out. The Plan A and Plan B have many differences. In case you don't know what will probably gonna happen next year is that my family won't be in KL, but will move to other place ( but still in Malaysia ). I maybe studying in KL or maybe just go overseas? I don't know. My parents are mischievous, they have different kinds of plans, which I feel they are all not-going-to-work plans. So, why do I bother? 

Well, I've been writing crabs for have the blog post. I just wanna write something! 

Sometimes, I really dream of being a FASHION DESIGNER. I dream that I've my own trademark, and shops all around the world. Models are doing runway and photoshooting for the beautifully designed clothes. And those upper money status people keep flooding the shops of "mine" and snatching all the bags, shoes, dresses, then paying cash at the counters. Back to reality, Elisa! 

There are times when I think of myself being in an office, calculating data, and doing research for some cases. In fact you don't know what I mean, my ambition is to be a lawyer. So, yea, I dream and dream and dream. I dream myself being a musician. Playing piano about the whole day to get the fantastic flow of a music piece, like I'm a music crazy, imaging myself dancing with the music notes gracefully without noticing how people looking at me. That's cool, because it's only just DREAMS.

Now I'm lying down on my bed, like a turtle, with my back facing upward. I'm still typing this blog post, like it will never end. Every day, every new hope. There's always hope and dream. If you connect them, there is a solution- WORK HARD. I think it's better to be in the other way round, 

WORK HARD + GOD ~> HOPE + DREAMS

Let's NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

Thanks for reading!

Elisa

11:11 p.m 

Wed

24.9.14

Sudden feel of Laziness and Hardwork

Hi guys!

I hasn't been a long while I wrote a post.

I went to church today. I learnt something. Yes. Something!

Once I strongly longed for life after retirement. How i wished that I could earn a lot of money and enjoy them in the rest of life.  I thought of working as a piano teacher,  guitar teacher or perhaps a lawyer. And I could earn tons of money and use it. That's what I used to wish.

Today in church, i learnt something new. Not to say something new, it's more probably a refreshment for me. It cleared my blurry vision towards my future life. I thank God for today's precious lesson.

So, what's the lesson today?
Work for something that can last long, like super long. Like even after I die. Basically the lesson is about working on the things that God wants me to do. Never waste my time doing something unecessary. It's still a long term homework for me. I can do it with God!

Currently I'm in the church,  waiting for the committee meeting to start. There are like thousands of earth worms on my body, sticky and yucky. I feel nervous. Exactly nervous. I can't help being nervous. I'm scared that I will do something wrong. That something makes my current feeling grows and grows, becomes bigger and bigger. That's what I always feel.

I'm writing this post at this particle moment because I don't feel like reading the book that I've bought to the church which I wish to use it to make my boredom gone. But this plan fails. Because instead of reading, I write this post. How stupid I'm.

Well. Gonna end now.

The rate of Holiday

Hi guys! Today is such a happy day, though I haven't stepped out of the door yet. Being inside my house for the whole morning since I woke up made me successfully finished reading my 3rd book of this holiday. Oh man! I spent most of this holiday focusing my eyes on every page of the thoughts of different authors, sucking their knowledge and their roller-coaster stories. It's wonderful, I can tell. But at the same time, I strongly feel the stress and pressure that are given from my undone exam practise books. 

I'm sort of calm about my coming public exams in November. But actually I'm not. I really worry about it and try to do something, so as to smoth myself. The feelings of mine towards the exams are a mixture. I don't bother to know what are inside. Because I've more curiosity on doing my revision than finding out what's inside my brain and my heart. 

So, I've 2 music lessons today. Not in one shot, but it's almost like one shot. Playing guitar makes me feel more pressured. Every time I play it, I feel like there are tears rolling in the windows of my both eyes. My hands are always out of control, my mind is not concentrating. How am I gonna reach my goal, since I can't even drive my dream?

Ever since Emily, my twinnie stopped going for the piano every week with me this month, I feel like one piece of my heart can't blend together with the music I play with piano. What's wrong with me? Nothing wrong, I'm just being myself. The Elisa who are timid and fears of almost everything in the world except eating delicious food. 

Well, I've spent some of my holiday time jogging in the park nearby my house. I only jog like 10 rounds of the park for approximately 20 minutes or less than that. I feel fat everyday. I mean yeah, I've gained my weight, and which is not very good because I easily feel tired when going shopping with my family. You know, we do a lot of walking while shopping. And my legs can't withstand the weight of my body. That's bad. 

Should this post ends here? 

YES!

My eyes are so tiring, let them chill down and let my body rest.

Thanks for reading my holiday update, wish you a happy holiday!

Elisa X

18/9/14

Thurs 

Culture

Hi there!

Ever wonder the reason I'm so desperate to study overseas? Mixing with different hair colours people, speaking awesome accent of English, doing something crazy. It'll gonna be a great experience if I'm out of Asia. Something good will happen to me, won't it? 

The desperation of being in other country has triggered me and filled my mind. I can't wait to go out of my country, my comfort zone, my dearest family and friends. Going there will be a tough thing, maybe. 

It's because of the culture of the Eroupe countries, America and Australia. The bravery of the people there, like they never care if they do something wrong. Like there never has FAULT. They do it because they want to. The way they are brave, make me more amazed and desire to go there and do my bachelor degree study. ( I'm kind of SICK with it, sorry people )

It's like God never appears in their lives. What I mean is that what I THINK the EROUPIANS believe themselves. They have high self esteem which you'll not punch them because of that because you really love the way they act it boldly. 

I'm kind of scared that I'll love being without God. ( why so random? ) Like I love their cultures because of their fearless towards God. ACCORDING TO THE NOVELS I'VE READ, they don't care about rules. So what's wrong with me? Or them?

I don't know if you get what I mean. I bet you don't. Because it's a mix thoughts of mine. I'm typing them out, so that I can sort them out. You know, like not being so sinful in my thinking. God, rescue me!

I just finished reading the book If I Stay by Gayle Forman. It's a nice book, the characters are well described. And the lifestyle of the main characters hits my heart. As if I want to go America now, and being with the people there. I'm like I wanna change myself, a completely different Elisa. But I know there is no way. 

I thank God for being with me all the time. Whenever I want to do something weird with the little boldness in myself, He puts out the fire. ( I know it's a bit imaginative for you to understand what I'm trying to tell you ) 

Thanks for reading my bloggie. 

Feel free to write any comments. 

Elisa O

8:40 a.m 

Mon

15/9/14

Orange Marmalade

Hey peeps! I don't wanna scare you with my last post and this post. Because I kinda wanna share what currently happening to me. 

After trials exam, I'm attracted to this Korean Manga thing. It's ORANGE MAMARLADE. I really love the story and the drawing. The characters are well potraited and drawn. 

What is the story about?

It's about a vampire girl who was loved by a handsome, well built human guy. The vampire girl kind of struggling about her identity, because she scared that she would be hated. 

Left: Baek Ma Ri     Right: Jung JaeMin

Somehow this story is too chessy, but the drawings are AWESOME! They are well colored. Just love the way that the pictures are drawn. ( sorry, I'm too obssessed with drawing! )

I have my favourite character in this story. He is too cool and good looking ( LOL ). I love his hair the most! People come on, this is just a KOREAN MANGA.

Han Si Hoo! <3

Okay, my post should end here.

Elisa jean

8:00 a.m

Sunday

P.s. Dear artist of Orange marmalade, I don't know if it is okay to share some parts of the manga here. If it's not okay, I apologize. I just wanna share what I love to my friends! Thanks. 

Bold

I can't remember when I used to be bold, like little kid, who never thinks before he does anything. Or perhaps, like an artistic who draws without sketching. I used to be bold.

Everyday I go to school. The same school. I never like calling my secondary school as HIGH SCHOOL. Because high school sounds so perfect, interesting and full of teen stories. I seldom do what people do during their high school time. They hang out every weekend, after exams, and etc. or even go dating ( whatever ). I like the feeling like my secondary school is a place where I get knowledge. A place where it fills my brain with useful stuffs and prepares me to face the bigger world outside the school. I love my secondary school.

It is like 3 months I'll be leaving my school. Unchanging lifestyle in school of mine never changed. I'm still a unsociable bug, who refuses to let my secondary school life, becomes a high school life. Classmates around me keep changing their style, or I would like to say DEVELOPING THEMSELVES. As the older I grow, the older I see. 

Yesterday was Mooncake Festival. Normally we, Chineses, play lanterns, eat Mooncake and watch the big round moon at this night. My trials exams finished yesterday. After I went back from school, I allowed myself to be lazy for another's 4 hours afternoon of the day. At 7:00 p.m, I had my dinner. My dad wasn't back that time. My house only left me, my mum, my twinnie, my bro. My elder sisters were here. After dinner, my aunt came around. She brought lanterns. I used to love playing lantern, walking around the house garden, enjoying the aroma and the warmth that moon has reflected from the sun. It was lovely. It is not lovely. 

Rather than having a walk outside, I stayed on my seat, did one set of Add Maths Paper 2. ( Revision after exams? Owh ) i never thought I was this old. I'm old. 

I had no interest in playing the lanterns. And I didn't feel like having a peer to the moon. How dare me? Am I too late to realise I'm too old? I would rather stay in house than go outside to play them. Well, I think that's not old young problem, it's ELISA HAS CHANGED PROBLEM. 

Cool people think cool things. Melancholic people think melancholically. That's what I do. I think melancholically. I used to have good relationships with my relatives. I love them. However, since this year new year was over, I never even feel NOSTALGIA. The worst part about it was that I didn't go back to my hometown since the new year was ended. My father always wants me phone my grannies, and to have some talks with them. I never dare to do that. I'm remorseful. I feel like I've done something wrong. I stopped being NOSTALGIA.

Perhaps, I'm getting more and more scared about things that I used to do. There is no boldness to be seen in my current life. I'm too small to be bold. I'm to young to be bold. 

But I never stop TRYING to be BOLD.

Thanks for reading my weekly update. 

Love you guys.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

Any comments? Just write down there or Facebook message me. 

Elisa jean O 

9.9.14

Tues

4:25 p.m