Bold

I can't remember when I used to be bold, like little kid, who never thinks before he does anything. Or perhaps, like an artistic who draws without sketching. I used to be bold.

Everyday I go to school. The same school. I never like calling my secondary school as HIGH SCHOOL. Because high school sounds so perfect, interesting and full of teen stories. I seldom do what people do during their high school time. They hang out every weekend, after exams, and etc. or even go dating ( whatever ). I like the feeling like my secondary school is a place where I get knowledge. A place where it fills my brain with useful stuffs and prepares me to face the bigger world outside the school. I love my secondary school.

It is like 3 months I'll be leaving my school. Unchanging lifestyle in school of mine never changed. I'm still a unsociable bug, who refuses to let my secondary school life, becomes a high school life. Classmates around me keep changing their style, or I would like to say DEVELOPING THEMSELVES. As the older I grow, the older I see. 

Yesterday was Mooncake Festival. Normally we, Chineses, play lanterns, eat Mooncake and watch the big round moon at this night. My trials exams finished yesterday. After I went back from school, I allowed myself to be lazy for another's 4 hours afternoon of the day. At 7:00 p.m, I had my dinner. My dad wasn't back that time. My house only left me, my mum, my twinnie, my bro. My elder sisters were here. After dinner, my aunt came around. She brought lanterns. I used to love playing lantern, walking around the house garden, enjoying the aroma and the warmth that moon has reflected from the sun. It was lovely. It is not lovely. 

Rather than having a walk outside, I stayed on my seat, did one set of Add Maths Paper 2. ( Revision after exams? Owh ) i never thought I was this old. I'm old. 

I had no interest in playing the lanterns. And I didn't feel like having a peer to the moon. How dare me? Am I too late to realise I'm too old? I would rather stay in house than go outside to play them. Well, I think that's not old young problem, it's ELISA HAS CHANGED PROBLEM. 

Cool people think cool things. Melancholic people think melancholically. That's what I do. I think melancholically. I used to have good relationships with my relatives. I love them. However, since this year new year was over, I never even feel NOSTALGIA. The worst part about it was that I didn't go back to my hometown since the new year was ended. My father always wants me phone my grannies, and to have some talks with them. I never dare to do that. I'm remorseful. I feel like I've done something wrong. I stopped being NOSTALGIA.

Perhaps, I'm getting more and more scared about things that I used to do. There is no boldness to be seen in my current life. I'm too small to be bold. I'm to young to be bold. 

But I never stop TRYING to be BOLD.

Thanks for reading my weekly update. 

Love you guys.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

Any comments? Just write down there or Facebook message me. 

Elisa jean O 

9.9.14

Tues

4:25 p.m