being with god

i thank god for his plan and how i have been living now. 

i found myself couldn't concentrate on His words when i feel very grumpy. i was really frustrated when i thought about my brother, of how he was not helping out with the housework and i felt really tired from doing housework. 

but it got better the past few days. my brother has started helping me with housework. i felt like i'm no longer doing it alone, carrying the burden alone. 

i am thankful for him to be understanding and also helping me during that time. 

my struggle was to concentrate on His word. his words make me think. but when my mind is all about the suffering that i am going through, i feel full to take in his words. 

i thank god for wendy, a new friend that i knew from my fellowship. she is 4 years younger than me. but i felt very happy for her to be in the fellowship. i have the heart to tell her more about christ. i want them to know about christ. i am scared i do it for the sake of glorifying my name. so i think i will do it without keep on telling people about this and that. i wouldn't take on any pose unless they are calling for empty position. only then i will serve. 

i am grateful for my group leader. she is amazing. i enjoy talking to her and sharing about my experience and stories. i enjoy listening to her stories and how sometimes she is too overwhelmed with her little stories that it is hard for all of us to move on to other different stories. i thank god for such a soul who is willing to share and expose herself, and telling all the others how she has been, and eventually how god has used her as His vessels to glorify him for the kingdom of god. i wish we could support each other during this season of our lives and falling in love with jesus and his words more and more. 

i have the tendency to wanting to be the centre of attention. but i tell myself that it is not me, but god. 

i am thankful for this humble experience in my house, being a cinderella. i learn that loving needs more than liking, and i learn that it is not impossible to love soemone that we don't want to love.