Church is Everywhere.

when things get rough, it is time for God to smooth them out.

I am very amazed with what i have gone through. Two months ago, I was wondering why I couldn't do an admin job well in Adelaide. I gave myself a try-out working in a clothing shop. The shop was kind of new in the industry and the company is relatively small. I went there for 2 days, mainly writing emails and stressing myself out. 

It was the worst job that I have ever gotten myself into. 

I panic all the time while I was in the shop, mainly because I did not know what to expect and I kept on thinking that I did not do well enough, or the email was not written in a correct form. I felt very embarrassed with my outlook due to the lack on makeup and makeup skill on my bare face. I wore foundation and lipstick to work for those two days. I was terrified. 

I thought I would be in the fashion industry through doing that marketing manager position. I was wrong. The whole fashion industry was more than designing. It is about branding and all that you bring for first impression. After all, fashion industry is a first impression industry. It is about how well you can impress others and how efficient you can handle your work. 

It was the end of the second day when I saw the messages sent by my sisters. I stunted. I couldn't believe that was happening to my family. The reality hits my face. It was until then I was reminded that after all, we have been battling to stay alive and fighting to not be caught by the death. I knew immediately that I was not meant to be in Australia. I called my best friend and told him all about what happened. I cried in front of him and told him that I had to book a flight back to Malaysia to see my family, support them and help with whatever I can. 

I did a bit of packing and flew back a few days later. Going back was a trip to my hideout place from how unsuccessful I was building my career in Australia. It was also time for me to pick up the family responsibilities that I was supposed to fulfil 3 years since I last stayed with my family for long term.

I knew I needed to be in Malaysia. 

The very next thing I knew was that I needed to be in Bintulu where my brother goes to school at. I knew I needed to be back taking care of my brother, being an acting parents and a barely qualified guardian of his. It was hard but God brought me through. He taught me to be patience and loving to my brother. 

I was also quite frustrated with how I have not been permanently staying in a place, but living off from my luggage. I didn't blame anyone for that. Instead, I questioned God why I had this kind of experience, what was he trying to tell me or preparing me for? I still don't get an answer until now. 

But I know He is guiding me. 

There is an inner peace that calm my unstable emotions. 

When He is here, everything will be alright. 

I thank God for my current church in Bintulu. I thank God for them being so supportive in making friends with me and inviting me to come out and hang. God knows what I need the most. I can never deny that. 

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