Re: set

My identity was lost, but now it is found. 

Unlike the others, I feel strongly unprotected while studying abroad. Everyone tells me that I would be fine. Everyone says that studying abroad, means without the guidance of parents, has freed them from illogical rules and regulations. 

I, set more rules to myself than my parents setting for me. 

Being alone means that I have full authority towards my time. Whatever I desire, I can fulfill it whichever way. I ended up signing up for Easter Camp organised by Overseas Christian Fellowship SA.

I start to adapt the new environment. I start to take charge of myself, my action, my words, my behaviors, and my being. It is exhausting. I was a princess in my family, the one that only washes dishes and does laundry (you know, put the clothes into the washing machine). I considered myself doing house chores. 

I end up being a messy person here.

My mind is messed up with more than 10 tasks that I do everyday, my body parts work for different things at the same time, my bedroom is literally a translation of my mind. My minds are everywhere. 

It's not until I attended this camp, which I learnt to be more organised in my mind. 

It's not a joke, though people learn to love God more, or turn back to God, etc, I learnt to be more organised? 

I would never forget, I was telling the committee that I had no towel for showering. That embarrassing moment set me to a rigid mind. I was busily checking out what were inside my bags, and I couldn't sense any towel-like material in the bag. It was an awful experience. 

Glory to the Lord, E-Camp was full of amazingly helpful people, Ivy, especially, helped me throughout the whole post "reckless behavior" situation. I managed to get showers.

It was the next morning that I found myself being reckless again. 

I simply put my lanyard in one of the bags that I brought. I brought lots of bags (shame, I called myself a refugee), and the bags had lots of pockets. Imagine my lanyard was in one of the pockets, and I didn't expect myself had put it in that pocket. Bam! 10+ minutes in the morning was gone, because I couldn't find my lanyard. 

When I recklessly do something, and never think about the after effect, everything messes up. 

Sometimes, our minds would just follow what would be the best for the situation now, but forget of how a simple decision could be a tragedy in our lives. We might consider cutting down a short little time for God would not affect much of our lives.

I, did, regretted of what I had done. But I still did it on the next day. I ended up wasting 10 minutes of my life. Resetting my bad behaviours takes a long time. Resetting my reckless vision of love requires time. 

However.

I just heard the sound of shooting gun. 

I'm ready to run.