I've just finished reading a chapter of my course book. It's a special book because it talks about Work and Leisure. It triggers my mind.
I went to a church today. I was new there. It was like finally, I understood what the sermon was all about. For the previous churches that I had attended, I didn't quite remember what the sermons were about, or perhaps, I didn't really understand much. My mind wasn't in place. Or perhaps, I was too tired and was tempted to fall asleep.
At least, my eyes weren't closed.
Searching for a healthy church has become a challenge for me, because I've got too much factors to weight about and decisions to be made. I thank God that I had a wonderful day today. Things went on smoothly. I had tried my best communicate with people.
Do I sound like I was forced to communicate?
I often labelled myself as an introvert. It was kind of sad, because I had unintentionally drawn a distinct line between myself and the world. I often told myself that it was alright to shut myself up and continue being quiet all day long. Sometimes, when people genuinely talked to me, I felt kind of disappointed with myself. I restricted myself from being open up to others. But they were willing to share personal things to me.
I've changed after all.
It takes a long time to realise that everyone has got his or her own talents ( something ). Sometimes, jealousy creeps in my heart. I wonder why there were so many pretty people and cool kids around me, while I'm just a Kampung born wild girl. I drop things very often, the moment when I move my body, the whole table shakes. That's me. Shame puts me into its category.
I need to learn.
Americans always possess the concept of being set free, having your own self, you're the best and etc. Is that really true that we can keep on continuing what we are comfortable with while the truth tells us that it's wrong?
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity." Colossians 4:5
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