Depression

I'm a lonely person.

It is a statement for almost everyone. I'm sure all the human being on earth have at least once in their life time feel this statement strongly that this statement has become their feeling.

I thought about peer pressure a lot these days. It's whether by wearing something nice or being smart in class. There are lots of cool kids in college, trust me, if you never been to one. Those cool kids are really cool, they know how to socialise with people, at the same time, they juggle their studies as well. You'll see them passing with flying colour, and you never wonder why, because they are cool kids.

I pulled myself off from my usual click of friends. I try to mix around with the others. It's not bad to be on my own, because sometimes, independent is built this way.

There was a lot of depression time for the past few months, because I was lost in the college. I'd got my friends who laughed at what I wore, I'd got people who laughed at how speak English, and even my expression. A friend of mine once told me that they just wanted to make me laugh. I would say these are all insults. Sometimes, patience continues to grow bigger and wider in our heart. But that doesn't mean everything will be alright. There's never ' it's okay' time. We need to fix the things up before saying IT'S OKAY.

I might take things too seriously sometimes. I used to let those uncomfortable things to go off. But they were making feel like I weren't myself. Because once people kept laughing at me and I was so bloody angry that I literally wanted to utter some dirty words out, I calmed myself, told myself it was okay, it would be better. Later I found myself sitting on my bed, cried like a baby. The uncontrolled tears rolled down faster than I would imagine. I finally came out a conclusion that I was actually going through depression.

It was hard to overcome depression. The sickness told me to stop believing in anything, anyone, and any God. I thought I would just tell my twin sister about all. I held back. Even if releasing the stress and emotion is not enough to be recovered from depression.

Act before we think is what we often forget about. Think before we act is much easier. When shall we act? When will the action be done? What shall we do?

I turned back to God, because I knew God was the only one to turn to. I'm still working in progress.