Sunday, August 23, 2015

Cry

At one point of my life, I feel like I'm living for stress.

That's the worst feeling ever. I really hate that feeling. What I do to solve this is that I hide myself in my room, cry about the difficulties that I'm facing, and ask my sister to listen to my problem.

I used to cry and cry for aimless and unreasonable reasons. I cried a lot last time, almost everyday, especially when I was standard 1 during primary school time. I refused to do work because I hate doing homework. I hate doing something that I don't feel like doing at that particular time. I cried.

I got my dad who hated my crying very much. It was somehow became a significant experience in his life. He started to know that this daughter of him would not do professional job or "manly" job in the future. That was the reason why my twin sister was (is) always his all time favourite. My sister never cried for something useless. She was hardworking and willingly to do all sorts of homework and work.

Sometimes, I even got my grandparents built the hatred on my cry too. As I say, I cried everyday. I could cry on the morning and cry again in the night. That was a routine of my family having dinner at my grannies'. I just cried when I felt scared or I failed to do something. There were times when I cried at night, and during the following morning when I got up from bed, I saw myself with two baggy eyes through the mirror. The worst thing was when I had got friends who asked me about my eyes, and they even could identify the real reason behind the baggy eyes. No matter how much I didn't want them to know about those incidents, they still got that powerful eyes to see through my eyes.

Since then, I know how to prevent getting up with baggy eyes. If I cry at night time like at 10 pm, I will sleep after 1 or 2 hours. This step actually helps my eyes to dry themselves and go back to the normal mood.

I cried lots of time this year. I hate being forced to do something. I'm constantly being forced to do things. I wish I could solve this.

X

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