I mock myself.

Being much involved in church and fellowship serving makes my body feels sore and tired, but I'm surprisingly happy and joyful. I can go super hyper and laughing all the way when doing my service. You can never know how much I feel when doing God's work, unless you've tried it before!

The world is not as perfect as I see. 

I ain't sure if any of you would get annoyed by reading my blog post, because it's a bit too like  personal-philosophical-plus-a-bit-immature. But I thought of this, it would be really good to share what I feel about those things I've experienced, because an "immature" person's view is really important.

People around me keep telling me I'm innocent and naive. I don't quite agree with them. They just didn't see what I've experienced, they didn't know what I've chosen. I ain't sure if anyone out there, laughed at me because of the perfect and fairy tale like thinking that I've had. But I got this a lot, HEY ELISA, YOU'RE NAIVE AND INNOCENT. Innocent? I'll define innocence, innocence is the lack of knowledge to choose right or wrong, in other word, stupid.

At that very mean point, I feel as if I'm disconnected to the world. Completely disconnected.

You know what? I've seen people crying and starving themselves because people out there are telling them they are not perfect. You know what? I've seen how an old grandy keeping quiet because she doesn't want to let people know that tears are dripping deep inside her heart. I've read books about how people having love, making love, kissing, and whatsoever, because they just love it and those "activities" attracted them. I know why people keep complaining girls nowadays only love bad boys, because their souls demanding soul mates, who they can call girlfriends, patting them and hugging them in front of people, having that "relationship goal hastag". Or else, I've seen people without money and still boasting around that they want to eat branded stuff. I've seen how blind men walking through a rubbish place, and they had no idea where not to walk through.

The world telling me to stop sympathizing or empathizing them because that would be really stupid, and you-can't-be-helping-people-and-feeling-sad-all-the-time. I ain't feeling sad about those I've mentioned, I feel sad about people telling me not to sympathizing.

Getting through to know what's right and what's wrong is never a sin or something to be laughed. You thought I had no idea about all those so called cheesy stuff people can do between two people? Their desires evoke, and their hearts just melted by each others'. They know they have to be connected with each other. When they see each other, their eyes locked, nothing would unlock them unless they look away.

I refuse to do such kind of things, unless I'm mature enough.

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