When love is greater than other things.

It could be more than something.

Today is a Thursday. I'm half dead. Finished math test today and yeap, it was pretty hard. I'm estimating myself to get low marks. So, to make myself feel better, I keep telling myself it's over.

I got back home late because I was having choir practice for Christian Fellowship tomorrow. Guess what? It's Easter Rally! I ain't sure what rally means, but I know it means a lot, a lot.

***

Back to some serious and stupid questions for myself. I feel regretting now because I think I've made a wrong decision. A decision that will change my entire future life. Is it too late to make a change? I ain't sure. I really have no idea. I have this dilemma. I want to choose a future which I enjoy, but not a future full with regrets. Obviously, I'm in the regretting path way. Because I really want to be a fashion designer.

Okay. I understand that Malaysia is not a suitable place for this. But, I really have that though come across my mind, and I'm not willing to let it go. I want to go to a different place, build a different me, love different people. Most probably I want to learn something out of it. Life is too short to decide, but too long to regret.

Why do I regret? I have no idea.

***

I feel like jumping out off the time. I mean pulling myself out and placing myself back to the time when I was only 16. I want to get back that silly but innocent feeling. The Elisa that wouldn't think so much. The Elisa that will never exist any more.

I change is quite drastic. I don't know whether I'm getting this drastic change or the change that happens eventually. I want to learn a lot. But I'm not passionate with them. What shall I do?

I thought back to what I'd done in my last year time. I feel like I'm now a new me. However, still living in a worrying and emotional life. The whole external is changing, the internal is renewing but in the same way.