It's always a barely breathing story.
I could still remember my dream ambitions 2 years ago. I dreamt to be fashion designer. I thought it would come through, though I had taken lots of brochure about institute that offers this course. I thought I would really be one, wearing hipsters and funky everyday, drawing and being creative with arts. It's really impossible for me, a person who doesn't have nice clothing, to even dream to be a fashion blogger or whatsoever.
I know, it was unreal, it is unreal.
I had this short conversation with my classmate who always appears to be sad. I asked about her ambition and her dream job. Well, her dream job doesn't really make a shock to me, because she said she passionates in drawing. However, indeed of dreaming such an unrealistic ambition, she said she wanted to be an accountant, because of job demanding.
I used to have many dreams. I wanted to be a model, of which I would never be one, because I'm too short. I wanted to be a politician, who could make a change for my beloved Malaysia, but it turned out to like catching fire. Well, even a piano teacher. And I know, there's no way for me to be one of them, because I'm to weak and helpless.
I frequently ask myself, the reason of me switching from science stream to commerce stream. I asked. And my answer is always a silence. I don't even know how to answer it.
Because I'm starting from 0. I'm starting from nothing.
Unlike my sister, she continues doing her science and maths. At least, she has the foundation. But, I can't find any of mine. I don't have a foundation of commerce. I'm seeking a foundation which hopefully will have my name on it. But, no. Nothing.
I thought, studying what I'm studying right now, is a start for me to be involved in designing, interacting, and many sorts of ideal stuffs. But I'm wrong.
X
God has plans for you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's still a blurred vision but just think about it, why has God put you on this planet?
Just so that you could doubt yourself?
I pretty much believe for a fact that God would like to see you do that, harming the yourself, aka the holy temple, emotionlessly.
The bible says clearly in Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." So continue to pray on and seek God for an answer that is contrasted from your blur self.
God many a times closes doors for a reason. But what I strongly believe is that God would open a new door every time He closes one. And trust me, the door which is newly opened will always be better than the one He closes.
Cheers 😆