I'm an A student.

Today is a nice day.

I just woke up from my first nap of the day. Yes, I took my nap in the morning. I wasn't feeling any tiredness yesterday but I feel it today. 

Spm is gonna end soon. My last subject will be on the next Monday. I ain't nervous about it. But I know it is going to be the toughest subject among all. 

Things aren't working well with me. I do a lot of thinking. My brain can't stop running. I think about how people get their popularity. Yes, I'm a bit weird because I always make my mind work out with something. Something weird. 

I created a Twitter account last week. It is fun having a Twitter account. I'm more updated with my friends trough Twitter. I follow people and people follow me back, some don't follow me back. Well, I don't care. 

I think about how stuffs work. Like do pretty people more attracted? 

This is a cool thing. I went through some instagram photos. I read my Facebook news feed. I feel superiorly sad. Pretty people in ugly photos get a lot of likes and favorites. Well, I can tell these people are popular. They attract a lot of attention. And some people give up themselves, follow the super pretty people and start to adapt a new style from them. I feel sad.

I wonder a lot about which are all about interaction. I see couples doing some small actions when they thought no ones notice them, but actually I saw it. I see friends having great chats with each other. They hang out in the shopping malls, and take selfies. This is the things that work around my life circle. I ain't in a big life circle. What I have seen are too much. 

Well, intelligence is also one of the point which helps you attract people. I'm grateful that I'm never a study pro nor smart person. So, not one notice me. So I notice others. 

People respect those who do well in their studies. They respect 7A's and 6A's UPSR students, and all the straight As students. They are amazed when an average student get the highest marks in class. Their jaws drop. Most smart people I've seen are quiet quiet type, when they speak, they tell facebook or Twitter about their small but inspiring thoughts. And then the whole world amaze with them. And even agree with them. To conclude, smart people are popular. 

Sorry my readers, it's time for me to conclude my blog post, though some little things just pop up from my mind- Does people with less popularity are more low in self esteem? And how does self esteem affect people's popularity? Do people really need popularity?

I can tell people may not really need popularity when they have God. 

Glory to the lord! 

Elisa X

I'm an Average student ;)

Something weird about ME

November slowly comes to an end. My mind can't stop thinking about my next year plans. Of course, and my one month holiday in December.

As you know, I'm sitting for this public school exam for a month. This drives me crazy because I'm not even putting much effort into it. I can't think about this exam result. It must be pretty bad.

Throughout the year of 2014, I find a true me. I have learnt being more selfless. Well, I'm not a loving loving type person. I admit that I'm always selfish. But I'm trying to change. Plus, I'm changing. That's not a big deal, I guess. I always find myself planting a little bit of love in everyone that I meet. I think I should continue planting this love, so that everyone can feel it.

I have observed people around me all the time. Don't think that I'm a geek or a crazy, because I love social science very much. I have done all these because I want to know the mystery of relationship. Relationship is a big topic. Well, as a result, I find my "project" of knowing how relationship works is a sign of infinity. And the result will only come to an answer when I really learn how to socialize with people.

The way I think about things is very weird. Like the day before yesterday, I finally filled in my enrollment form for next year college. I was and am excited about it. Well, I signed up for 5 subjects for my foundation. One of it which I just filled in on that day was Social Science. I actually found myself reading the description of the subject. And I got attracted by the words - psychology and sociology. My eyes blinked twice and read the text more carefully. And yes, there I saw a sentence which tells me that if I signed up for this subject, I gotta write a lot. Write a lot in English. And I consider my English- FAIL.

Instead of being afraid of writing English, I signed up for the Social Science. And I know I gotta read, speak, write and listen more English. I'm telling myself, everyday is an English day.

Despite being criticized by people, I still go ahead and write my blog in English. Tell you the biggest fact that I write in English. It's because among all four languages that I can speak, the best I can write in is English. That's such a pitiful thing. I'm pitiful.

Well, I'm gonna stop pitying myself.
All the best to my readers.

Elisa Jean X

A Smile in front of the Camera

It's raining again.

I wonder how much times I will have with my family. Every time any of my sisters comes back, I'll definetely be thinking of the family members I have. It's God's lovely plan. Well, tonight my eldest sister is coming home, but my second sister will be in her university, continuing her work.

I always think about how the world works. Everyday I meet different people. Everyday different weather. I just tweeted I CAN'T FAKE A SMILE in Twitter. I wonder who read my tweet. And what are they thinking about?

I have to uphold my nearly overflowed enthusiasm on photography. I really love photography. Well, though I only know a bit about the technique of capturing a nice photo. Frankly, I don't even know how to take a photograph, even using my handphone.  I have this little mind which tells me that I can never ruin the beautiful photograph world with my ugly photograph. 

Unlike the old me, I searched around photography blogs in my Safari via Google. I encountered many good photos. What I can say is nothing but an expression of enthusiasm - WOW. 

Photography makes me understand many things. Like not every model is tall. Not every model is thin or skinny. Not every photographer will look down on fat people. Though I had the stereotype of artistic peopl are scarier than ones who aren't. But at least, through reading the blogs and talking to my sister help me a lot in not being afraid of artistic people. 

There might be a question mark popping out in your brain. You might wanna ask me why I'm afraid of the artistic people since they are all humans. I'll tell you now.

Artistic people tend to look things differently, I can say. Since I always have this LSE disease ( so I call it a type of disease), I'm afraid of how people look at me. I'm scared that they will look down on me, or whatever. If you are an artistic person, just make sure you don't tell me how you think about me. Because I'll have a hard time coping with myself. Though I'm praying for my bravery and giving all my burden to God.

I can say through writing my blog, I find myself always complaining and this blog shows the weak me. Well, I'm not strong enough. Maybe I'm but I'm sure I'm not the kind who can we myself under the rain.

I'm slowly building a stronger me. No, no. I should say, God is slowly building a stronger me. 

Thanks for reading my blog. 

X Elisa

P.s It's still raining...

Blame

I have not been blogging for sometimes. I'm exhausted. 

Today is my mum's birthday. We made a celebration for her. But I'm sure this wasn't the best one. Because she had a great celebration last night with her lovely and cute friends.

I'm glad that I have today, being with my mum though my father is outstation now. My sister baked a cheese cake and prepared today's dinner for us. Of course, these are all for my mum birthday celebration. Lovely and sweet one.

My history exam is on this coming Monday. I don't feel the stress. I'm not sure if I ready don't care about it. Because I feel no momentum to study and memorise all the bits of history of the world. I used to love history. I used to think it was the best subject ever. Now, I feel so exhausted to even flip the book. I'm too old.

Yes. There are a lot of things I haven't done. I need to get them done as soon as possible. I'm not excited about most of them. You see the point of my life, don't you?

My english has never been what I'm proud of. Never. I wish there is a day for me to say GOD, THANKS FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR MY ENGLISH instead of GOD, GIVE ME THE BRAVERY AND THE FEELING OF LOVING ENGLISH SO THAT I CAN SPEAK AND WRITE PERFECTLY! Here you see how my English works. I pray in English. Thanks God! I still can talk Him in English. At least there is someone who is willing to listen to my broken and imperfect english. He is God.

I keep thinking of blaming I'm too old or I'm too stupid to do the things. I sometimes blame God for not giving me enough. And here pops out a question: who am I complaining about what I haven't had? Well, one thing I have learnt is that DON'T BLAME ANYONE. I'm sure God has given me a lot of chances and will give me more. 

I really love blogging. Blogging makes my mind to think. Thinking about the things that are useful. Useful things make me have the actions to work them out. And I can see the results. 

Never doubt love, 

x Elisa Jean