I've been day dreaming for a long time. Really long time. I've been an awaken state but my mind has been dreaming. Dream about something old. Old things like ambitions and my life after high school.
I guess you dreamed before. It's just the duration of dreaming is not the same as mine. I dreamed about how I can live without my parents, my future friends, my life, my cool life, the hardship that I'll go through.
I'm wandering about how can my life be if I am not at Malaysia. I'll meet different people and understand different culture. I'll know different languages, stay confidence to speak English.
The work that I'll be doing: Maybe I'll future study my English language or study fashion design. The thesis that I'll be writing will be written in English. My own English. My poor English.
The friends that I'll be meeting: Different races, different faces. They may be friendly or unfriendly. I hope God can train me to be stronger with Him.
The life that I'll be having: I'll work part time job and get high salary ( I think that should be higher than Malaysia's ). I'll be scolded and I'll work at every weekend so that it won't be clashed with my class in the Uni.
Oh dear. I've spent too much time dreaming. Day- dreaming. I've always thought about my future. Don't you think I've wasted a lot of time thinking about that without doing any thing? Action speaks louder than the words. Ok. I'm enough of that. I should face the reality.
What is the reality I'm facing right now?
I'm struggling with my Additional Mathematics. I'm having problems writing my Bahasa Melayu essays. Yes, I'm right those are essayssssss. I'm having confident problems in myself. I have to do housework so that ma mum feels she is loved. I have to do more public speaking in order to get A for my Aural Tests. I should have studied my Biology Chapter 1 and done my revision books.
That's a sad thing that I just realised I need to face the reality. The community I'm living in. ( Probably with my classmates in school ). I should not be day dreaming like a pig ( though I don't think pigs dream, do they?).
In the bible, the book proverbs is talking about how stupid people and the wise people act. Stupid people think about something that are evil and have got a lot of ways to achieve something. While the wise people work hard to get the fruits to eat. See, now you know I'm so stupid.
I've to wake up. Wake up. Wake up. I should stop myself thinking so much about the future. It's because God is controlling my future. Thanks God, I'm still here and I finally realised I should wake up.
Glory to the Lord.
I'll change my attitude with the strength of God.
With haha,
Elisa Jean.
5:47 p.m
18.01.2014
Saturday
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