Stopping addiction on Instagram

Many years have passed and yet I come back to this website and try to write something out. Today mark down my 4th day of temporary deleting my instagram account, and it wasn't very hard, but just instagram was really addictive and there is still an itch for me to spend some of time on my phone. 

I find it annoying that I have been playing instagram since I was 15, which was 10 years ago. I kind of not like the idea that I have committed myself to such a self-loathing social media for the past 10 years. I remember how I deleted my social media account when I was 19 years old but that was a failure. I jumped into a whole newly established instagram account that looks rather, instagramable.

I think the whole app has given me a new way of appreciating arts and designs. I have gotten myself into photography so intensely, by investing few thousands dollars just to fulfil my desire to be like the instagram community who were so talented in taking nice aesthetic photographs. I have come to realise that I have been damaged by the whole social media and constant engagement in all these apps that share about life and moments. There are sadly a bunch of community that support this lifestyle and happy to support each other egoism and liking each other because they want to make sure their self-esteems are not harmed. I start to think about why likes are so important and why I care so much about whether the persons that I think are important are paying attention to the moments that I have posted or not. I get so caught up in wanting the response from people and wanting an assurance from these people. Where do I gain confidence? 

There comes to a point where I realise no one ever will appreciate what is posted, and most of the times the application is just a marketing tool for more consumerism, more buying, more spending and demanding what the world can give. But the wants can never be fulfilled by all the materials.

I wonder whether I can continue on without social media, but I slowly find back who I am in God and how I should be as a child of God. It is possible in God's eyes because deep down I know God doesn't really think that I need instagram. And that is true. I don't need these applications to fulfil my everyday lifestyle. 

I hope that I do not cling on to another bad habit, but I can continue on be conscious about the time that I spend.