The Ugly Truth

"You have never enjoyed your life, living inside the box, you're so afraid of taking chances, how're you gonna reach the top?"

I haven't been updating my blog for a really long time. But trust me, there is always this little voice telling me, "Elisa, write something!", "Perhaps, you can write about today." Yes, I do, I had had 5 drafts with only 3 sentences. I question myself if I'm really capable in sharing out my blessed life through words in the unbounded world. Writing turns into a big back pack for me to hike the mountain of my life journey. I've fear of wearing it on my back, I'm terrified with telling people about the inner ugly side of me. 

Humans are always ugly.

Once I was walking on the street back to my flat. It was supposed to a street with busy human traffic. Because I was walking late night, there were only few pedestrians on the street, and a homeless. It was a windy night, everyone was covered with few layers of clothes, except the homeless. He had a bubble tea cup placing directly in front of him. The cup was quarterly filled with coins. 

I told myself, "give him something, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." I continued walking, I even walked passed him. I couldn't remember if I had prayed or not. But I did ask God for wisdom to share what had have in a sentence. I ended up being in a Chinese bread shop. I bought a bread (it was so expensive!), and I turned my way to the homeless. I gave the bread to him. 

"God bless you," he said. 

"Jesus loves you." I babbled.

He was holding a lit cigarette in between his index and middle fingers in the very next morning.

Humans are always ugly.

That's why, we need God.