How books harm.

I just finished one book this morning. 

Holidays with the companion of novels are the nice holidays I have had. Every time when I have a long holidays, I will make sure I have shopped a few books in the book store so that I can have them during my free time. 

I always choose the easy ones to read. Often, when I buy a book, I'll first look at its cover page. I like the one with nice graphic. Now, you can say I judge the book by its cover. If an author really wants its book to be well published, I guess, he or she might also take part in the cover page, and make it as beautiful as the writing. Then, I will see who the authors are. Sometimes, I am really fed up with romance kind of books, they describe how both parties are attracted to each other. I just pray that God can cleanse my mind.

Then, I find the level of harm in reading books. 

Books were written with lots of ideologies. The author always makes sure that what he or she believes are well written in the book. Therefore, book can be just all about bullshit if you don't think the theory written is what you believe. But most of the youngsters who read lots of books prefer to follow what were written. Because words are so deceiving. 

I think about how the world can be deceiving too. Or I would rather say it is deceiving. 

Ideologies about protecting yourself or chasing for nonsense human rights are critical sometimes. That really scares me. I used to be one of those feminists who stand up for bullied girls. I debated like a mad dog, winning for pride. I hardly believe how the world threat girls like animals, stripping off their hearts or minds like gradually stripping off their skins. 

Then I get to know that people say that some feminists are girls who feel lonely with no guys loving them. I nearly forget I have got a little brother too.

By here I don't mean I'm one of them or what. I just realise how much time I have been spending on to fight for something that is so critical. Understanding myself is so much harder than understanding others, because I only get to see myself in the mirror during morning and night. 

Things get better when you trying to know who control over things. It's like going into a castle. You'll never know what actually had happened in the past in each room unless you get to have a conversation with the ones who were living inside the castle. Though you might have known something about the castle, you might not know if that's true. God makes the world clear. 

I wonder how I could stand still on my own perspectives and beliefs when I read this book about Tarot and afterlife. I managed to finish the book. I was amazed by the author with her twisting story lines and imperfect characters she sketched. Those books make me understand about others' beliefs.

***

There's nothing more difficult than understanding the will of God. For human to understand something that are beyond our levels, I feel like surrendering myself. 

But at least I know that God has His power on everyone.